


Megastar Advent Calendar

by Spoon888



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Bathing/Washing, Blow Jobs, Bottom Megatron, Chapter Specific Warnings, Daddy Kink, High Grade, Huddling For Warmth, M/M, Making Out, Mech Preg (Transformers), Megatron's Sensory Crown, Minor Injuries, No I Will Not Stop Ever, Oral Sex, Reunions, Size Difference, Size Kink, Spanking, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Thruster Play, Transformer Sparklings, True Form Starscream, Vibrators, Yes ANOTHER Megatron/Starscream Collection, implied prostitution, lap dance, prompt fills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 13:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 33,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoon888/pseuds/Spoon888
Summary: A collection of Megatron/Starscream ficlets, with a new trope every day!
Relationships: Megatron/Starscream
Comments: 770
Kudos: 705





	1. Thruster Play

**Author's Note:**

> Think of this as a seasonal gift from me to all you fellow MegaStar shippers. Thanks everyone!

There was a table in the war chambers long enough to seat each and every one of Megatron's trusted counsellors.

Starscream, bizarrely, counted among them, and as Second In Command had earned the most coveted seat at Megatron's right hand. Close enough that he could smell the mech's iron amour. Close enough that their knees would brush under table and send unwanted tingles up the sensors in Starscream's leg.

Surely the table was big enough that hey didn't have to sit _so_ close?

As coveted as his position was, Starscream often found himself casting an resentful optic down the long rectangular table, to where Thundercracker and Skywarp were seated across from one another, always shifting in their seats and too busy casting one another awkward, shy, reproachful, or mischievous glances to pay the slightest bit of attention to anything that was being said.

Irritated at the private conversation this trine seemed to exclude him from every week, one meeting Starscream purposefully knocked his light-pen off the table just to have an excuse to dive down after it and caught them _right in the act_. Molesting one another under the table like a pair of exhibitionists, Skywarp's thruster between Thundercracker's thighs, rocking back and forth.

Disrespectful. It didn't matter how boring and endless these war councils were. If _anyone_ got to tune out of these things and focus on better things -like Megatron's huge, gleaming thighs- it was _him_.

As Shockwave droned on about fuel reserves and Autobot movements across the planet, Starscream let his arm slip off the table to rest in his lap. He kept his optics focused in Shockwave's direction, but his attention on the great, slumped warlord beside him.

Megatron was sat in his typically regal sprawl, his thighs spread and knees invading the space of those (un)fortunate enough to be sat beside him. Perfect. Starscream let his servo wander across, and placed his hand lightly but deliberately onto Megatron's knee. He saw Megatron's optics flick down and up again.

Nothing.

Starscream moved his hand up and began drawing smooth, languid circles across the expanse of the massive thigh.

Megatron didn't look down. Starscream watched a hinge in his jaw tighten.

It wasn't necessarily a 'No', so Starscream let his hand slip down between those massive thighs to cup-

"Ah, ow-ow-ow-_ow_!" He cried aloud when Megatron's fist clamped around his fingers like a vice and removed from them the intimate space between his legs. Shockwave stopped talking mid-word, his great yellow optic darting between Megatron and Starscream in confusion and irritation.

After a thorough crushing of his fingers, Megatron released him. Starscream cradled his broken fingers under the table with a hiss of resentment. 

"Sir, is everything-?"

"Continue Shockwave," Megatron waved him on without missing a beat, "Starscream, don't interrupt again."

Starscream opened his mouth to screech, but a hard look of warning from his leader told him it was best not to push. He sat sulking in his seat for the remainder of the meeting, cradling his poor hand, knuckles misaligned and fingers bent into the wrong direction.

Eventually, the meeting was ended with a few of the usual threats from Megatron for everyone to do a better job killing Autobots next week and Decepticons began shuffling out. Thundercracker and Skywarp walked out side-by-side, wings brushing. Starscream felt a surge of jealously as he went to stand.

A huge fist caught the scruff between his wings and hauled him backwards down into his seat.

"Sit down," Megatron demanded, rising out of his own chair.

Starscream sat meekly, cradling his hand. "You didn't need to _crush_ my fingers," he mumbled.

"For your attempted molestation?"

"I wasn't molesting you!" Starscream protested loudly. "I dropped my light-pen again and It must have fallen between your _massive_ thunder thighs. You could lose a _planet_ between those things-"

Megatron griped the back of his chair and twisted it around to face him. Starscream's hands shot to the seat to hold himself in place, his optics bright and alarmed. Megatron leaned in, placing a fist on the table beside Starscream. "Disgraceful behaviour. And in the middle of a war council no less." He shook his head. "I thought you smarter than that."

Starscream frowned and leant back against the seat, turning his head away. "Oh, what are _you_ going to do? Crush my other hand? I won't be able to service your spike with broken fingers."

"What else is your mouth for," Megatron growled.

Starscream made a noise of disgust, and to get Megatron away from him, lifted a pede and shoved his thruster heel against Megatron's gut, into the lighter armour above the fuel tank. Megatron grunted, but didn't shift, and Starscream soon had his ankle captured between two massive hands that looked seconds away from twisting it in a direction it definitely shouldn't go.

"Wait!" He squealed meekly, apologetically. "If you break that I'll be grounded for the raid!"

Megatron rolled his optics, his hand distractedly moving up and down Starscream's calf armour. "Your usefulness is debatable."

"That's not what you said _last night,_" Starscream hissed and shoved his thruster again. His ankle slipped through Megatron's hands and his heel shot forward to slam into Megatron's groin armour with a dull pang of metal.

Starscream froze, then quickly arranged his face into an apologetic smile when Megatron's hands retightened on him.

He began to rub his heel against the abused armour, "Now, that really _was_ an accident."

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Megatron's pelvic array was protected enough that the impact hadn't seemed to have affected him. But the positioning of Starscream heel pressed against it certainly had.

Megatron gazed down contemplatively at the pede firmly planted against his codpiece. Starscream _knew_ that look.

"No. Megatron, _no_-"

He tried to tug his ankle free, but Megatron held fast. His thumb circled the ankle joint, then without warning he lifted the thruster up to optic level. Starscream slipped down the chair with a yelp, his back and wings now resting against the seat of the chair and his leg in the air. Megatron studied his thruster carefully, his fingers gently probing places they had no right to be probing.

Starscream felt warm breath against his heel rim, and shuddered, "That's not built for-"

A tongue swirled the rim and dipped in, and Starscream would have melted right through the seat and onto the floor had Megatron not been holding him up by the ankle. The sensation was foreign and unnatural, and sent error messages shooting through his processor. His knee joint jolted like it wanted to kick itself free, but Starscream's subconscious programming was activating pleasure sensors in his valve -Because Megatron tongue, in most scenarios, usually equalled eminent overloads.

Megatron mouthed at the thruster, unbothered that Starscream had walked around on it on the dirty floor all day. His optics were dark and shuttered as he peered down at Starscream on the seat below, twitching and wincing at the unnatural teasing.

There was a _snk_ and hiss and Starscream looked down to see Megatron's spike emerging. He opened his own panels in preparation for a spiking, turning his other leg out to the side to allow Megatron better access.

Megatron tonguing his thruster while they fragged wasn't the _weirdest_ thing they'd ever done, but-

But Megatron didn't plug in. Instead he drew the thruster away from his mouth and began to lower it. Starscream squirmed in his seat, trying to sit up when Megatron griped his spike in one fist and held his ankle in the other.

Warm metal rubbed against the heel, then slotted into the gap at the arch of his pede, moving back and forth, mimicking the rhythm of an interface. Megatron's optics glowed perversely at the sight of his spike sliding against the arch of Starscream's pede, a swirling bead of transfluid building at the tip with every slow drag of metal against metal. 

Starscream bit his lip and suppressed a whimper, not wanting to encourage this sort of behaviour.

It didn't seem to matter. Megatron pulled away from his pede and began to push his leg up and back. Starscream found himself in a highly undignified position with his knee pushed flush to his chest and his valve spread and exposed. It throbbed in want, and Megatron must have noticed the vibrancy of the biolights as they pulsed temptingly, but _still_, he didn't plug in and put Starscream out of his misery with a driving, processor-numbing frag.

He held Starscream's pede around the bridge of the foot and lined up his spike with the heel.

Starscream watched, transfixed, all the while aware he should have been pushing the idiot off. The tip touched the rim of his heel and circled it, smearing the droplet of transfluid across it, then it pushed in.

Starscream's entire leg twitched at the sensation. A error message popped up for Thruster Obstruction, but Megatron pressed his spike into the tight space anyway, uncaring that it didn't have the softness, or the pliancy, or depth of his valve. Starscream gripped the seat with his claws and groaned, his toe pedes curling, as Megatron's thick spike pressed into his heel till it hit the nozzle at the top.

Starscream hurriedly deactivated the ignition protocols, gasping sharply when the delicate hardware was bumped. Megatron grunted and started to rock, gripping Starscream's ankle and calf, heedless of the dull clunking noise of his spike meeting the nozzle inside Starscream's heel.

The impact of his charged spike sent a shockwave of sensation shooting up Starscream's leg and into his valve, and it pulsed in time to Megatron's movements. He began pushing back into it and arching his back.

Megatron growled, twisted the heel to change the angle, and overloaded.

Hot, vicious fluid filled Starscream's heel, soaking the components and rushing deep into the complicated thruster. Error messages bombarded Starscream's head and his entire pede began to feel numb and stiff as sensors were damaged and blocked. Megatron held himself in place inside the heel, relishing the feeling of being inside the wrecked thruster a moment longer, before pulling out, his spike dripping with silver transfluid.

Starscream let his numb pede fall to the floor and lay slumped in his seat, trying to comprehend what he had just allowed to happen.

Megatron surveyed his handywork, but did have the grace to look regretful.

"I suppose you won't be able to fly in the next raid after all." He nodded to the thruster dripping cum.

Starscream glared, starting to feel a little gross. "If anyone asks, it's water damage."

"Hook knows the difference between water and-"

"It's _water damage!"_


	2. Sensory Panels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starscream screws around with Megatron's sensory crown.

Starscream couldn't sleep.

Not a wholly unusual occurrence. His processor was too fast and busy to slow down most nights, and he just didn't seem to have the same protocols everyone else did for shutting everything down when the lights switched off and his helm hit the pillow. He often entertained himself with his own plots and experiments till the early hours, tinkering in his lab or sneaking about the base.

Other nights, when the recharge-deprivation reached it's peak and he started to _hallucinate_, he grew desperate enough to seek help.

And he ended up in Megatron's quarters.

His warm, cozy, soperific quarters. 

Just about the only thing that could get his processor to slow down enough to settle into recharge mode was Megatron's hips between his thighs and a warm pair of lips on his neck. And most nights it did work. About ninety percent of the time he could doze off in a post-climatic daze, recharging soundly and rousing the next day loose and relaxed and as well rested as the day he had come online.

Tonight was not one of those nights.

He lay on his back on Megatron's left, staring up at the ceiling, running a counting sheep programme in the back of his mind to try and trick himself into drifting off. Every so often Megatron would stir in his recharge, the slow in and out of his vents pausing as he sighed contently in his sleep, drawing Starscream's keen attention. 

Starscream rolled onto his front to watch him, his head pillowed in his arms. Megatron lay on his back, the covers lingering around his chest and an arm tossed across his waist. His other hand lay open on the berth beside Starscream.

Curiously, Starscream slipped his fingers across the large palm, and smirked when Megatron's large fingers curled inwards to close around his fingers.

Starscream sat up and shuffled closer, studying his leader.

Chances to be this close to the larger mech were rare, even for him. Megatron kept even his friends at a sensibly self-preserving distance, and Starscream's processor was often focused on much better things than the symmetry of his leader's face during their intimate moments, so he never really had an opportunity to appreciate the handsome face of his leader in great detail.

Starscream considered his full lips and strong nose, his squared, masculine jaw, and those dark beautiful optics so tragically hidden in the shadow of that ugly helmet.

He lifted his fingers to it, tracing the gap between Megatron's helm and helmet. His finger pad brushed a manual latch, and a smirk grew across his lips.

Carefully, so not to wake the slumbering giant, Starscream ducked close to search for another latch on the other side. Finding it, he flicked them both in unison and the gap between Megatron's head and the helmet widened as it came away.

Megatron slept like a lump of rock, undisturbed and unmoving as Starscream carefully began to lift the helmet away from his head. The ugly thing was heavy, and no wonder Megatron was always in such a bad mood. He probably had a headache from wearing the stupid thing twenty four seven.

He placed the helmet in his lap and turned back to Megatron, appreciating the now exposed sensory panels that lay flat against his helm. Starscream had seen them before. _Twice_ in fact. Once before the war, when Megatron had shown them off to an entire arena full of mechs in Kaon, and a second time in the medbay aboard the Nemesis, when even the thick ugly helmet hadn't been enough to protect his leader's head from the full force of Superion's punch.

Starscream hummed to himself as he traced the swirling patterns in the panels, watching happily as Megatron's face twitched. He rubbed his thumb across the tip on one, but nearly fell out of the berth when Megatron's mouth opened and emitted a low groan.

He froze, waiting for optics to flick outline and glare. But Megatron didn't wake.

Tempting fate though he was, Starscream touched him again, brushing his hand across the side of one panel. It began to rise away from the side of Megatron's head, followed shortly by the other panels, the crown blooming like a flower. Megatron hummed in his sleep again, turning his head into the sensation.

Starscream sat back and steepled his fingers together in delight.

"Oh, _sensitive_, are they?" He whispered to himself gleefully.

He placed both hands on Megatron's head and began to massage lightly, pushing the panels back so they could press up into his hands. Megatron's helm tilted back, his neck arching and throat working as he vocalised happy little groans and grunts.

Starscream dropped his mouth to them next, letting his lips drag up the edges, and breathed heavily against the tips. Megatron shuddered underneath him, his big, empty hands twitching against the berth sheets.

Starscream extended his tongue and licked up one, and this time Megatron moaned _so_ loud he woke himself up with a start, his optics blinking online and his hands flying up to seize the dark winged figure looming over him by the hips.

Starscream yelped.

"What on Cybertron-?" Megatron was squinting up at him, looking somewhere between ridiculous and endearing with his dim, confused optics and his sensor panels sticking up at odd angles. "What are you doing?!"

"Nothing," Starscream's said innocently, and pressed a quick kiss to Megatron's temple as if that was all he had been leaning over him to do.

Megatron's dark optics snapped to the helmet in Starscream's lap. His jaw hardened. "Starscream."

"It fell off," Starscream lied, quickly lifting it up. "I was just putting it back on for you."

Megatron's optics rolled upwards as he tried to peer at his own head. "I'm sure," he muttered. "And just what were you doing that caused it to 'fall off'?"

Starscream paused before placing he helmet back onto Megatron's head, his frame warm and buzzing from his explorations, and Megatron's handsome face was more than a little bit of a turn on. Megatron arched a brow questioningly, and that just about did it for Starscream's libido.

He tossed the helmet to the side. It bounced off the berth and fell to the floor with a loud clunk. Megatron bared his denta and sat up. "Starscream-!"

"It's fine," Starscream smiled, climbing onto his lap before he could remove himself from the berth. He cupped the back of Megatron's head and let his fingers thread between and across the panels. Megatron tensed and twitched into it, his jaw flexing. "You don't need it."

"I-"

Starscream stoked the panels more firmly, and Megatron dropped his head back into his hands with a unguarded moan, mouth dropping open and dark brow creasing. Starscream grinned and continued his massage, enjoying the way Megatron moved into his touch, turning his head this way and that to guide Starscream's fingers.

Trapped under Starscream's aft, the covers across Megatron's lap began to tent. Starscream dragged a hand away from Megatron's head and let it fall down between them, tugging the covers away to free Megatron's hardening spike.

"Looks like someone's come out to play," he teased, and gripped the back of Megatron's panelled head harder than was strictly necessary. Megatron gasped out a cry, and his spike came to full hardness against Starscream's hip.

Megatron could do little but moan and twitch and massage his fingers into Starscream's hips as his panels were tugged and stroked and teased. Starscream guided him to lay back across the berth and kept one strong hand on his head as he rose into his knees, opened his panels, and worked himself back down onto Megatron's waiting spike.

He began to ride Megatron, working the spike deep into his valve and grinding down onto it, squeezing it, letting his callipers grip and flex. Megatron's optics had rolled into the back of his head, his mouth open and panting as Starscream let his claws graze the sensitive panels, scratching lightly to make his vents hitch.

He grabbed two handfuls of sensory panels and tugged on them savagely, grinning when Megatron shouted in pained ecstasy and overloaded deep into his internals. Starscream threw his own head back and delighted in the warm, liquid sensation of it, circling his hips to draw it out, humming happily.

Megatron let his head flop listlessly to the side, and Starscream stroked the poor abused panels apologetically, rolling his hips back and forth languidly.

"I see now why you wear that helmet," he murmured quietly, liking the struck, overwhelmed expression plastered across Megatron's face. 

Megatron shook his head weakly, "Get your claws off of them," he growled, voice hoarse and breaking. Despite his tone, he didn't seem to have the strength to push Starscream off himself.

And that suited Starscream just fine.

He twisted one of the panels and smirked at Megatron's pained hiss.

"No," he purred, stroking it promisingly. "I think I'll play with them a little longer yet."


	3. Daddy Kink

Starscream could hear the sharp crescendoing cries and panting breaths from the corridor outside the Flight Rec. Once close enough to also register the rhythmic slapping of organic skin on skin, he punched the manual door access and stormed the room.

"This doesn't look like a flight brief to me!" He roared at the terrorised Conehead trine scrambling out of their huddle in front of one of the monitor screens.

They scattered like a rainbow of cockroaches, darting about and barely avoiding his claws to make an escape into the hallway. There were too many of them for Starscream to focus on just one target, and before long they had leapt over and dived under the furniture and out the door, and he was left alone to fume, vents huffing out air as hard and fast as the organics currently featured on the monitor screen.

"_Yes daddy, harder!"_ A woman's voice cried out.

"What on Cybertron?" he muttered to himself exasperatedly, finally turning to glance at the monitor.

The defected Conehead's had been watching some sort of Earth video. It had been recorded onto poor quality film, the colours were off and static fizzed across the screen every so often, but the humans were clearly naked. And seemed to be ...copulating.

Starscream grimaced and lifted a nullray to shoot the screen out, having seen enough of the slick organic bodies slamming and twisting together.

"Punish me daddy," the woman cried again, her blood red nails cutting into the well muscled back of her companion. He responded by moving against her harder, and her skin rippled under the force of his hips colliding with her rump. It lasted all of five seconds, before the man made a noise not unlike one of the singing whales that would pass close to their underwater base, and threw his head back, his wet, greying hair sticking to his forehead.

He was finished, clearly, his hands shaking on her hips, his back dripping with sweat. The woman watched through smokey, hooded eyes, and lips painted to match her nails began to curl into a smirk. Starscream's nullray dipped a little with interest, his head tilting to the side as he watched her pet the man. "_Daddy_," she purred again. Softly.

The man shuddered brokenly and tucked his head into the hollow of her neck, undone by such a simple word.

He wondered...?

He ran a quick search on the word, at first finding hits that made little sense, before digging deeper, and coming across a goldmine of information. Too bad they didn't have a word like _that_ in Cybertronian, maybe then he could-

Oh, maybe he _could_...

Starscream shock his head and snorted at his own harebrained schemes. He lifted his nullray and shot out the screen like he had originally planned, leaving the monitor a burning wreckage. With any luck, that stupid tape melted away with it.

And he was grounding Ramjet and his idiot trine for a month for watching that filth.

* * *

"Starscream!" Megatron barked, dragging him from his thoughts.

Starscream purged his mind of that stupid human porn video and refocused his attention on Megatron's scowling face.

It was out of instinct and a million years of habit that he responded in like with a scowl of his own at the interruption to his daydream, crossing his arms and leaning back against his seat. "Yes, _mighty_ Megatron?"

Megatron's optic twitched, as it was warrant to do when Starscream tacked a sarcastic 'mighty' to his name. Because that should only be said with the utmost sincerity, of course.

"Were you listening to a word I said?" Megatron growled.

Starscream hadn't, obviously. He'd been too busy thinking about the sack of meat and bones that woman had reduced her partner to on the porn video. If an idiotic human could figure our how to reduce a man to a moaning, twitching mess atop her, then why couldn't he-

"Starscream!" Megatron barked with markedly less patience.

This time Starscream jumped in his seat, hitting his knee against the underside of the table. He rubbed it resentfully, pouting. "I was listening!"

Megatron's glare was hard and unrelenting. "I see you've better things on your mind today, seeker," Megatron hissed. He didn't take his optics off his main target when he called the order, "Clear the room."

Chairs scrapped across the deck flooring as everyone got up. Starscream gingerly pushed himself out of his seat, hoping against the odds that maybe he was being excused too-

"Don't even think about."

Apparently not. He sat back down again with a heavy clunk, sulkily bracing his head against his fist and waiting for the room to clear so Megatron could come over and get in his face and make his threats and give him a good shake, likely.

The doors swept shut, and they were left in stifling silence. Megatron began to stroll up and down the length of the table behind him, hands clasped behind his back. Starscream's wing flicked at the air disturbance it caused.

"For someone who likes to harp on about productivity and fuel conservation, you're awfully apathetic today, Starscream," Megatron began.

Starscream rolled his eyes -but only when Megatron passed behind him again and he _knew_ the warlord couldn't see him do it. "Apathetic is a tad unfair-"

"You were _daydreaming_," Megatron snarled with more than a healthy tinge of disgust.

"Would you let me off the hook if I said it was about you?"

As predicted, it had little affect on Megatron's stoic, resolute scowl.

But of course, the dirty grunt of a former miner couldn't get enough of him during their off shift, when the lights were low and he'd lured Starscream into his bed. But here? Now? In his precious War Chamber? During his 'important' brief? Primus forbid. It was like he switched off his libido protocols as part of his morning routine and they only came back online again when his chrono ticked over to twenty-hundred-hours and Starscream just so happened to be bent over in front of him.

Instead, Megatron scoffed and shook his head. Disappointed. Exasperated. Unimpressed. "What am I going to do with you."

"Forgive me, dear leader," Starscream cooed, bored with this now, gesturing flippantly with his claws. "It won't happen again."

"Perhaps you need reminding of your _place_," Megatron turned his back on him, his tone sharp.

"My '_place_'," Starscream rolled his eyes again. "Oh yes, _Mighty_ Megatron." He drawled sarcastically, then smirked to himself when he added. "You should definitely punish me, _daddy_."

Megatron froze, mid-step, like his motor-functions has suddenly failed.

Perhaps he'd broken the old fools processor? He waited tensely for Megatron to turn around and chase him out of the War Chambers for being a filthy little organic xenophile (even though it had been Ramjet's tape), but still, he didn't move. His shoulders were tense. His back straight. His expression blank.

Starscream tilted his helm, "Megatron?"

"What?" Megatron snapped quickly, turning suddenly. He looked at Starscream then looking away again scowling, and seemed to suddenly have no idea what to do with his hands. He brought them to his front, then tucked them behind his back, then planted them on his hips, then clenched them into fists-

He was far from the stoic leader Starscream had just been dealing with.

Cogs began to turn in his devious processor, manipulations already forming.

"...Well?" He began again, carefully, in a measured tone. He watched Megatron's body language carefully, and his expression tensely, ready to bolt should this go wrong. "Aren't you going to _punish_ me ...daddy?"

Megatron's optics flared pink. His olfactory flared as his vents sucked in air fast and sharp. His fists had begun to shake with tension.

Finally, through great personal effort, Megatron's tightly clenched jaw released enough for him to mutter a quiet, furious. "You're dismissed."

Starscream stood slowly, optics hooded and tone sultry. "Yes daddy."

He span away with a flick of his wings, smirking wide and gleefully when he heard Megatron's audible hiss from across the room.

Oh yes, this was going to do wonders for him.

* * *

Megatron didn't know how Starscream had found out, or where he had picked that word up from, but he wasn't going to let the little sneak use it against him. He wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.

It was obvious this wasn't going to go away. Starscream knew it ...affected him, and the overbearing pest never let things lie. So he would need to be prepared, braced, ready for the attacks when they came.

At least there was the small mercy of Starscream being a complete idiot on his side. The moment the seeker thought he had an upper-hand he exploited it to death. Megatron fully expected Starscream to use this new weapon at every turn, at any available opportunity, and before long Megatron was sure he would be desensitised to it.

It was just a word, after all. And once he became accustomed to hearing it from Starscream's oily vocaliser, it would be a problem of the past.

But when he took Starscream to berth that night, braced for it, anticipating it even, he didn't hear it once. Not when he bit down on Starscream's fluttering wings, or when he pressed into his supple body. He didn't moan it when they faced, it wasn't screamed when he fragged the seeker to overload. It wasn't whispered dazedly when they lay together in a heap of hot, spent metal on the berth.

Megatron nudged Starscream's helm with his forehead when they lay together, trying to rouse him as he dozed.

"Megatron," Starscream mumbled warmly, vocaliser hoarse and spitting static. He rolled onto his side and tucked his head under Megatron's chin.

Nothing.

So perhaps it was a fluke, or some stupid little game Starscream was playing? Perhaps he _didn't_ know, and despite having been caught unawares in the meeting the other day and very nearly giving the game away, Starscream hadn't appeared to realise. Things, surprisingly, should proceed as normal.

And when he learned of a chemical fire had started down in the lab and brunt a hole through the hull and resulted in the entire bottom two levels of the base flooding with foul, fishy smelling sea water, he fully expected to be able to hunt the obvious culprit down and throttle the idiot with little to no problem.

Starscream hadn't hidden himself away as he was warrant to do in these situations though. Quite the opposite actually. He had planted himself in Megatron's throne sideways, his legs thrown over the arm rest, looking every bit at home.

"You," Megatron snarled, fingers itching to pull his head off. He approached, striding forward, helm bowed. "Your ridiculous experiments have flooded half the base, fool! The fuel stores are ruined-"

Starscream did, at least, have the good grace to be frightened at his rapid approach, swinging his legs off the armrest and curling himself into a ball on the seat of the throne, gripping the armrests and shrinking back, "Wait wait wait _wait_\- please!" He yelped, "_Daddy_, please!"

Megatron's chest _thunked_, and he froze with a fist outstretched, just a bare inch from Starscream's flinching face.

At the distinct lack of strangulation, Starscream cautiously cracked open an optic, blinking in shock at how close he'd come to getting bodily dragged out of the throne.

Megatron inhaled sharply and composed himself, curling his clawed fingers into a fist, "You-!"

"-Are sorry? I'm sorry," Starscream quickly spoke again, leaning away from the hand ready to ensnare him. "Forgive me? ..._Daddy_?"

Megatron could hear his own fuel pump in his audials, drumming hard and loud. He swallowed, tongue thick and armour tight. "You're-"

"_Sorry_," Starscream cooed this time, growing in both confidence and slippery smugness. "I'm sorry, daddy."

Megatron's tank was twisting itself into knots, Starscream's devious optics were somehow open _and_ innocent, his sharp lips pouting, his deceitful voice imploring and pleading and _sarcastic_. Yet it had swept the fury away like it was nothing but dust in the wind.

Megatron struggled to muster it back, because Starscream couldn't be allowed to run rampant. He had to have obedience, structure-

But he looked into Starscream's face and knew he was done for. "The flooding-" He tried to get out.

Starscream patted the throne, shuffling back to make himself comfortable. "You have mechs for that," he purred, and took Megatron's wrist, dragging him closer. "Why don't I make it up to you?"

Megatron let himself be dragged down, and before long found himself on his knees before _his_ throne, looking up at Starscream from between his glossy white legs. He grit his denta together in irritation, but decided he might as well make the most of this indignity.

"Say it again," he demanded, voice now strong and unashamed.

Starscream cocked an eye ridge, then smiled. "Yes daddy."

The pit of Megatron's tank began to _ache_, and the only thing that could possibly make it feel better was burying his face between Starscream's thighs.

So that's what he did.

"Oh, _yes_ daddy!" Starscream cried, sharp and loud.

Perhaps Starscream knowing wasn't quite so dreadful after all.


	4. Lap Dance

The _Nemesis_ sat docked in the harbour of Segid Star spaceport with the hole in it's hull the size of a Titan's fist, inflicted by the largest of the asteroids the flagship's massive aft had been unable to dodge. There had been minimal loss of life, and the damage hadn't been so severe that the ship hadn't been able to limp to the nearest spaceport, but Megatron was still less than pleased with the situation, and the incompetence of his crew.

Namely one crew member in particular.

Starscream, who had been 'too busy' to take the helm and perform the evasive manoeuvres necessary to avoid the impact was mostly to blame. Despite being the best pilot the ship had, he had left the impossible task to Megatron.

(Who had somehow failed to see an asteroid half the size of the ship flying towards them until it as too late.)

No doubt the seeker than done it on purpose, likely to call his leadership abilities into question and undermine his authority. And all because Starscream had wanted to stroke his own ego Megatron's beloved warship was now sat on a dock being worked on by a recharge-deprived gestalt of Constructicons and a team of colony mechs that had no idea what they were doing.

Unable to stand witness to whatever they were doing to his ship, Megatron retreated into the spaceport, found himself a bar, planted himself in it's darkest corner, and planned on drinking until he would no longer have the processor function to even tell if his warship had been sufficiently repaired or not.

He wasn't alone in his choice of evening plans. The spaceport was so small there weren't many hiding places for this crew to avoid him, and a large chunk of them had followed his lead. They lingered around the bar itself, spinning on the stools, laughing and joking among themselves. Rumble had bullied himself access to the stereo system and turned up the music; some cheery, repetitive popular sounding music that no longer appealed to his tastes. He glared, but stayed in his corner, and they were wise enough to leave him be.

It all seemed tolerable until the doors to the bar swept open again to emit another group of bored Decepticons. Megatron glared at the seekers wandering in, with their high wings and glossy cockpits and pretty little faces. They joined the Decepticons at the bar and several of the mechs there gave up seats for their more attractive companions. Megatron scowled. His ground troops were far too susceptible to the charms of the airforce.

Things worsened still, when after the main body of seekers, came their leaders. Megatron sat up straight when the final three jets entered the bar, elegant noses in the air and wings fanned wide; Thundercracker, Skywarp, and the cause of all this delay, Starscream.

Starscream took one look at the merry get together at the bar and pulled an expression of such disgust Megatron grew hopeful that he'd simple leave again. His trine weren't so fussy sadly, and dragged him over to the bar anyway. There they disappeared into the wings and armour and laughter.

Megatron focused back on his energon, throwing back the fifth of what was likely going to be many more drinks.

Time slipped away from him as he drank and sulked. The music droned on, seemingly without change, one pop song sounding much like the last. The crowd of Decepticons at the bar shrank as some of them paired off and disappeared. Megatron watched them slip out the doors or sneak into the back-rooms out of the corner of his optic, and his mood sunk further.

How happy he was for them, using their unscheduled stop to their advantage.

The music had softened and there were only a few mechs remaining now, and they had spread out across the room, hidden themselves into their own dark little corners. Only one mech remained at the bar. Alone. Starscream, slumped lazily and poking at his own empty cube.

Megatron made the mistake of glancing his way.

Starscream's optic caught his, and before he knew it the seeker was up off the bar and halfway towards him. He grit his denta and scowled down at his cube, not missing the clumsy way Starscream fell heavily onto the seat beside him, less coordinated and elegant than was his habit.

"Are you going to finish that?" Starscream asked quietly, with a definite slur, and jabbed a finger at Megatron's half-empty cube.

Megatron opened his mouth to shoo him off but Starscream was already leaning over him, one hand braced on Megatron's thigh for balance, to grab the cube and gulp down it's remains.

Starscream half in his lap, Megatron froze and watched the seeker's throat tubing jump as he swallowed it down, his temper too drenched in high-grade to rouse and reprimand the theft.

Starscream slammed the cube down again and sat back, still so close to Megatron their thighs were brushing.

"You're miserable," Starscream said.

Good too know he wasn't so drunk he was oblivious to that.

"My ship is a wreck," Megatron scowled.

"And whose fault is that?"

"Yours."

"What?!" Starscream blinked. "_I_ wasn't driving!"

"Exactly."

Starscream's delicate features scrunched up. "Oh," he murmured, managing to put two and two together. "You think we wouldn't be here if _I'd_ been at the helm."

Megatron's mouth pressed into a frown, but it was hard to keep up when Starscream shuffled over to sit closer still. He was warm and relaxed, and the arm Megatron had slung over the back of the bench wanted to slip down and fall across Starscream's broad shoulders and tug his glossy frame a fraction closer. As always, he smelt of polish and chemicals.

As always, Megatron sniffed the top of his dark helm and savoured the seekers unique perfume.

"You made me look a fool," he accused, nose buried against the top of his second's head, still too drunk and far too enamoured with Starscream's glossy finish to muster any real anger.

Starscream leant into his side and tilted his head up to flash him a smile, denta straight and white.

"Better you than me," he purred. "There was no way out of that asteroid field. And I didn't want to take the blame when we were inevitably hit."

Megatron's frown deepened. "The damage could have been minimised."

"To the ship, or to my reputation?" Starscream wriggled his ruthlessly shaped brows. "Better the _ship_ than me too."

Megatron withdrew his arm from the back of the bench and scooted himself away from the seeker.

"Another selfish decision," he grunted. "Further evidence of why you should never lead."

Starscream didn't seem to take his words to spark. He pouted mockingly, shuffling into the space Megatron had vacated, chasing him across the bench. "How about I make it up to you?"

Megatron arched a brow, suspicious of his slippery tone. "And how do you plan to do that?"

Starscream stood from the bench and moved to stand in front of him, hands planted on his hips and thrusters shoulder width apart. His frame glowed in the bars dim lighting, and the shadows they cast across his face exaggerated his smirk. "With a little trick I learned in Iacon."

"From the science academy?" Megatron sat back, slumping against the back of the bench lazily.

"No," Starscream purred. "From the 'Crystal Cut'."

Megatron frowned. "And that would be-?"

"Where I 'worked' when I was _studying_ at the academy," Starscream bent forwards at the waist and placed his hands on Megatron's shoulders. His wings twitched and rose from his back, making a V shape. "As an 'entertainer'."

Megatron's mouth had gone numb. "As a-"

Starscream lifted a knee onto the bench beside Megatron's thigh and leant in to place his mouth at Megatron's audial. His breath was rich with high-grade. "Let's just say this dingy little bar has me feeling nostalgic."

"You're overcharged," Megatron said thickly, hands hovering at Starscream's sides when the seeker climbed up and into his lap, his weight warm and intimate across his thighs. And by Primus was he _heavy_.

"So are you," Starscream whispered, pressing his body close to Megatron's chassis.

Megatron could feel the swell of his cockpit and the points of his turbines against his chest. His hands instinctively fell to Starscream's wings, and the seeker arched his back and sighed at the touch, his thighs spreading wider across Megatron's lap so their groins bumped and rubbed together.

Starscream began to move, frame following the flow of the music, slow and languid, his hips gyrating back and forth and then rolling in circles. Every so often he rose onto his knees to rub his smooth frame against Megatron's, to tuck his face close to his helm and sigh in his audial. Despite the high-grade rushing through Megatron's frame, he felt hot and tight under his armour. He dragged his hands down Starscream's tight, supple frame and cupped his broad hips.

Starscream climbed off him and turned around, falling back into his lap wings first this time. Megatron grunted at the less than delicate change in position, wrapping his arms around Starscream's waist and tucking his nose into the back of his neck as Starscream continued to roll and twist his frame. Lost to the music, his optics had shuttered and his wing tips were flicking. He laid himself across Megatron's chest like a blanket, turning his head to the side, and Megatron caught his mouth in a kiss.

It tasted like cheep high-grade and bad decisions, but he felt Starscream smile in it, and hummed approvingly when a hand lifted to brush his cheek reverently.

Starscream's generous aft pushed back and rubbed Megatron's codpiece, and Megatron felt his spike hit the inside of it's panel as it swelled out of it's housing and had nowhere to go.

He cracked an optic online, his hands still grasping Starscream's hips, his fingers dancing to wander lower. They lingered at the apex of the seeker's thighs, wanting to reach down _into_ him.

But his optics focused past Starscream's panting, writhing frame, and at the Decepticons he had forgotten were still lingering in the bar. And were watching their every sordid move, optics bright red and as round as spotlights.

With Starscream still lost to moaning and riding his lap, Megatron had to clear his vocaliser loudly to draw his attention, his hands squeezing Starscream's hips to get him to stop.

Starscream blinked. "What-?"

"Back-room." Megatron muttered.

Starscream's optics focused on their audience. He stiffened in Megatron's lap.

"...Yes," he whispered, still frozen where he was splayed across Megatron's chest, his legs wide open with a huge hand just inches from his panels. "That would be wise."

Without so much as another word to one another, Megatron seized Starscream around the middle, rose off the bench, and carried him stumbling through the doorway into the dark privacy of the seedy back-rooms.

Well, at the very least, no one would be talking about his _piloting skills_ tomorrow.


	5. Shiver

It was a whiteout.

There was nothing but snow for miles, landscape and sky alike. The heavy snowfall meant Megatron could barely see his own hand in front of his face, let alone a _white_ seeker half buried in the snow.

Idiot jet. Skywarp could have handled this patrol just as well, and if for any reason he hadn't been able to warp himself out of the snowstorm at least a rescue party would have been able to _see_ him out here.

The ice was starting to build in Megatron's own armour, making him stiff and slow and grumpy. The only thing that kept his pedes treading through the snow packed up to his knees was the thought of his Second In Command turning into a seeker-shaped ice cube.

Thawing Starscream out would take up a lot of time and resources- not to mention the trauma it might leave behind. Starscream wasn't a fan of the subzero temperatures featured on this planet as it was. No need to add another disaster to the list of reasons why.

After another twenty minutes of wandering around Starscream's last known location, there was a break in the snow fall just long enough for Megatron to spot the crimson red of a shoulder vent emerging from the snow. He ran in it's direction, vents puffing out clouds of hot air.

He fell to his knees in the snow and dug with his hands until he could find an arm, and eventually, a head. Starscream's optics glowed a dull red. He was conscious, but his gears had frozen stiff. Megatron quickly dug him out, activating his comm to call the rest of the search party to this location. The sooner Hook pumped the seeker full of antifreeze, the better.

"Don't go into stasis," he warned, dragging Starscream out of the snow until his legs emerged. He pulled him off the frigid ground and into his lap, tucking his stiff frame close to transfer heat as best he could.

Starscream's left wing had been damaged in his fall, bent so severely it had snapped, the sharp, pointed tip missing. Megatron glanced around, but there was no chance they'd be finding a white wing tip in this frozen wasteland.

"M-mh-" Starscream's vocaliser stuttered.

Megatron snapped his head towards him, "Why didn't you turn back when Soundwave upgraded the storm severity?"

Starscream's shivering face hardened into a scowl, and Megatron could just imagine his response. "_Soundwave doesn't tell **me** what to do,"_ he'd screech.

"You'd much rather just freeze out here than in any way look to be following orders, wouldn't you?" Megatron guessed.

Starscream's optics sharpened, but he couldn't reply. Megatron rather liked conversing with him like this. When he couldn't talk back.

"Not to worry," he murmured, feeling uncharacteristically forgiving. He rubbed a hand up and down Starscream's back, his fingers pads brushing armour rough with icy build up. He shifted Starscream's weight into his arms and began to stand with him. The seeker looked more than just a little frustrated with the undignified positing. "Hook isn't far."

Starscream's head fell against his shoulder, and Megatron opened his vents to expel heat across him instead of sensibly conserving it for himself. The action chilled him a few degrees, but it was already clearing some of the ice from Starscream's turbines and face. Fingers began to twitch as life returned to them.

"M- wing," Starscream managed, vocaliser catching.

"We're leaving in it," Megatron grunted, trudging through the snow. "You'll get a new wing."

No doubt Starscream was less than content with that plan. It wasn't enough that his ego would be bruised by Megatron carrying him back to base bridal-style, but missing half a wing too? His reputation would be in tatters.

Eventually Megatron could hear the muffled rev of Constructicon's vehicle-modes, and soon enough the green and purple of the gestalt became clear through the blanket of snow. Bonecrusher led the way, charging through the snow, carving a pathway for his gestalt behind him.

Starscream turned his head stiffly and hid it against Megatron's chest, shuttering his optics, pretending to be unconscious in a last ditch attempt to preserve his dignity.

"He's not in stasis, is he?" Hook's concerned voice emerged from his vehicle mode as he pulled up beside Megatron.

"No," Megatron said as the medic transformed, "Only pretending."

Starscream cracked his optics online to scowl more fiercely.

"Where's the rest of his wing," Hook asked, leaning over Megatron's arm to get a look at his patient, flashing a portable light across the armour seams covered in Ice.

"Gone," Megatron grunted. "You can rebuild it, can't you?"

"Easier to replace if the other half is missing." Hook shrugged, "I have a few spares lying around the medbay..."

Starscream made a muffled noise of protest and shuddered in Megatron's arms with unreserved horror at that proposition.

Megatron huffed in amusement at the thought of vain, arrogant, _glamourous_ Starscream walking around with uneven wings. One bigger than the other. Or Primus forbid, a different shape. For identical builds, seeker-wings could come in many different shapes and sizes.

"It'll be fine," he murmured to Starscream, stooping with his cargo so Hook could reach the necessary hardware to boost Starscream's frame with antifreeze. "No one will notice."

Starscream let his head thunk against Megatron's chest despairingly. Megatron patted his one good wing sympathetically. "You never know," he continued, "when the snow clears up, maybe someone will go out and find it for you."

Starscream cracked an optic open, surprised.

"That is assuming between now and then you can be trusted to behave?"

Starscream rolled his optics as if that was simply too much effort. Megatron sighed and watched Hook work, knowing in his spark he was probably going to come back out here and spend hours looking for that wing anyway.

Seeker's were such vain, ridiculous things.

But he had rather liked Starscream's wings they way they were....


	6. Tender

Starscream had heard rumours since long before arriving in Kaon, and with all the evidence provided thus far, had seen little reason to doubt them. Gladiators were notorious. Not just for their skill and savagery in the arena, but their tastes in the berth-room. Whatever their backgrounds before they'd sold their spark and frame into the world of fighting for entertainment, they came large and densely armoured. They were strong, and blunt, and heavy, and none of that lended to the idea that they could be anything more than that in any other aspect of their lives.

By all appearances, Megatron was no different from his kin. As large as a Gladiator could possibly be, Megatron's hands could span the width of Starscream's wings, with legs thicker than Starscream's waist. He was only a head and a half taller, but more than twice the width of him, and triple the weight.

A night with a gladiator was said to wreck most mechs. It was not something to enter into lightly, not something to offer up unprepared. But Starscream was no dainty piece of artwork. Seeker though he was, he was built with durable armour, his glass was reinforced, and his claws were sharp and capable of piecing plating three inches thick.

If Megatron was indeed as rough as his kind were always said to be, Starscream was more than up to the task of weathering his attentions.

And yet,

And _yet_ Megatron's hands were gentle on his armour, his touch light and cautious. Starscream would lean back against a wall and tilt his head back, waiting to be crushed against the concrete with the full brunt of Megatron's bloodied, scratched post-battle frame, but Megatron would only lean over him and brush their noses and lips together, and breathe into his mouth. "Enjoy the show?"

"When are you going to stop teasing me?" Starscream purred, ignoring the question and tapping claws against the armour of Megatron's chest, playing out a playful little tune. He leaned unto Megatron's space, but Megatron withdrew before he could capture those full lips in an kiss. "I thought Gladiators _took_ what they wanted."

"I am not like most gladiators," Megatron murmured, stroking the underside of Starscream's chin with the back of his finger, tilting his face up into the light, optics studying his fine features.

Different. Yes, Starscream could see that.

He had expected -when he'd first started the dangerous game of flirting with Megatron, not long after pledging his undying loyalty to his cause- to be thrown across the nearest available surface and taken. To be dragged off to some dark corner and fragged by the dashing but common 'brute' like the high-caste protagonists from the racey novels he'd always read. Megatron certainly for the bill for ruggedly handsome and completely inappropriate.

But he had yet to even kiss Starscream, let alone pop open his panels and have him like a cheap rented drone.

"Are you free tonight?" Starscream asked, with a certain hint of urgency, leaving his lips temptingly parted in hopes Megatron might swoop in and finally claim them.

Megatron arched a dark, thick brow. "I can be."

Starscream's optics darkened. "I won't be _dangled_, Megatron." He let his claws curl against his chest; a vague threat. "Yes or no."

"Yes," Megatron finally agreed, clearly amused by the flash of frustration in Starscream's optics. "I'll be free to meet with you this evening."

"It's not a 'meeting' I'm after."

"I gathered as much," Megatron's soft smile made his optics crinkle at the corners. And Starscream's spark drummed hard in his chest. He leaned away from the wall and into Megatron, sure the great strength in Megatron's frame could support his weight.

He tilted his head up, his neck cables straining, "..._Megatron_," he said pointedly.

Megatron's smile transmuted into something more like a smirk. And Starscream should have been infuriated by all this lingering, tense teasing of Megatron's. Starscream had _never_ had to do more than hint for a kiss, let alone _beg_ for one. Who did Megatron think he was? Playing with him like this?

His lips pursed into a pout.

Megatron's helm dipped.

Starscream's spark stuttered and his tanks filled with the buzz of excitement. _Finally_!

Megatron took the small of his back in one big hand and drew him away from the wall, bowing over him. Starscream clutched at Megatron's arms and bent his knee, lifting his foot off the floor when noses brushed together and optics shuttered.

He heard Megatron huff a gentle laugh, and a warm pair of lips closed over his.

The wait, the _anticipation_, it made him moan at just the first contact. Megatron tortured him further with slow, measured, shifting kisses. Nothing more heated than simple lips on lips. It was tender and soft, Megatron's big engines humming away under his chassis, a warm juddering massage against Starscream's chest. He slid his hands up Megatron's arms and curled them around his broad shoulders, humming happily, tilting his head and opening his mouth.

Megatron's mouth opened in kind and his tongue dragged across Starscream's bottom lip. Starscream moaned and would have collapsed into a heap had he not been held up but strong hands. His back hit the wall as he fell against it, and Megatron took a stumbling step forward with him, pinning him in place, their vents quickening, their kisses growing firmer, faster.

Megatron began to pull back, letting their lips part slowly, his optics coming back online. But Starscream wasn't ready to be finished. He muttered a vague protest and grabbed Megatron by the clavicle seam, hauling him back down into a second, clumsier, wetter kiss.

This time there was no slow build up, no tender lingering touches, just Starscream moaning like a tramp and humming in want when Megatron rewarded his begging lips with more attention, his big nose bumping Starscream's cheek, his bigger hands taking his hips and squeezing them.

"Such a gentleman," Starscream purred between kisses, rubbing his cheek against Megatron's before the mouth fell to his neck next and bit at the cables there. He tilted his head back. "The rumours are true. You really _do_ have a talented glossa."

Megatron lifted his mouth to his audial, "You'll see for yourself tonight," he growled, massaging his fingers into Starscream's hips armour.

Starscream's knees felt weak. He exhaled shakily, running his hands down Megatron's chest. "I thought Gladiators were selfish lovers."

"I'm not like other gladiators," Megatron said again, knocking their helms together and nuzzling in.

Starscream cupped his big head and pulled him down for another kiss, just as heated and tender as the first. Much more of this and he was going to melt right through the wall.

It appeared he had hit the jackpot in gladiators, because with the way Megatron was handling his wings? Nothing about him was blunt or careless.


	7. Confession

An important report had just come in from Cybertron in the middle Earth's night cycle.

Having long since acclimatised himself to the planet's twenty-four hour day cycles, Megatron was forced to rouse himself from recharge, systems sluggishly rebooting after his deep slumber.

He rolled onto his back, dislodging the heavy arm that had been thrown across his frame in the night and prompting a grunt from the lump in the covers next to him. He sat up, but his berth-mate's servo started searching the covers for him, claws trying to catch a seam in his armour to haul him back down.

Megatron ignored it, rising out of the berth and begrudgingly traipsing towards the door. He regretted once again his decision not to have a console simply installed into his quarters. It would make having to rouse himself from recharge to respond to these late night 'emergencies' much more palatable.

He was out in the corridor when he heard the door to his quarters slide open again. He paused, turning to consider his tag-along.

Starscream -fairing far worse than he from the disturbed recharge- gripped the doorframe for added support as he passed through, one servo knuckling at his optic.

"This doesn't concern you," Megatron told him.

"You already woke me up," Starscream's vocaliser was dreadfully scratchy in the mornings. He used a servo against the bulkhead to help guide him towards Megatron as his optics struggled to online properly. "I might as well see what all the fuss is about."

Megatron grunted and continued on his way. He didn't bother to slow his pace for his half-blind stumbling Second, and strode on ahead into the Command Centre to take his seat in front of the largest screen. The sooner he returned himself -and his seeker- to his warm berth, the better.

He was tapping away at the console when the door behind him opened again to admit his company. Starscream strolled up behind him at a far more languid pace, dawdling to squint at the standby monitors and slow blinking lights. He groaned. Megatron struggled to keep his focus on the huge blocks of intel filling the screen when Starscream finally appeared at his side. And groaned again.

"I told you to return to recharge," he reprimanded, irate at the distraction.

Starscream tsk'ed, and walked around the front of the chair to settle himself into it. Megatron grunted in irritation when his lap was filled and his vision obscured by a large white wing. His hand came around Starscream's narrow waist anyway, and Starscream leant back against his chest to get comfortable.

Megatron shifted the seeker to the side so he was sat on one thigh and no longer blocking the entire screen. Content, Starscream let his head drop to Megatron's shoulder. He exhaled heavily, his breath tickling Megatron's throat cables.

"There are other seats."

"But none so comfy," Starscream's husky voice sounded seductive and promising in the dark quiet of the Command Centre.

Megatron refocused on the monitor and ignored him. He used his free hand to scroll through the jargon on screen and left the other splayed against the curve of Starscream's warm cockpit. He patted it fondly as he worked. Starscream laid a slighter hand atop Megatron's, his thumb rubbing circles into the back of his hand, before slowly starting to guide it down.

"No," Megatron moved his hand back up.

He felt Starscream's lips curl against his neck. "_Yes_," he purred, adjusting his seated position to splay his thighs wider, draping himself across Megatron's chest.

The seeker was so supple and pliant in his lap that had Megatron not had an arm secured about his waist, Starscream might have poured right out of his lap to puddle on the floor. "_Megatron_," he sung imploringly, starting to squirm in want.

Megatron's jaw clenched and he struggled to focus his hardened optics on the blocks of text before him. The sentences blurred into one as all he could think about was the way Starscream's warm body shifted and writhed in his lap.

"Starscream," he hissed, arm tightening around the seeker's waist as his core temper began to rise, the grogginess of sleep leaving him rapidly as internals began to fire up. "I'm working-"

Starscream shoved Megatron's arm off his waist and launched himself out of his lap to throw himself across the monitors keyboard instead, blocking the screen with his back, and aft, and wings. He wriggled his cherry red plating enticingly, optics peaking over a wing mischievously. Megatron glowered, struggling to ignore the red aft in his face, his optic twitching when he heard the _snk_ of a panel opening.

Starscream's optics brightened coyly. "Oops," he whispered.

Megatron had had enough.

He rose quickly. So quickly Starscream flinched in genuine surprise and shoved himself closer to the monitor. Megatron cleaved close to his back and slid one hand between the console and Starscream's belly, and shoved the other between his legs. He pushed two fingers into him, and Starscream _keened_, wings jumping at the rough penetration. He was already wet.

Such a fact roused Megatron's spike, and the tightness of his sealed panels was starting to pinch. He released his codpiece with a sigh of relief and rubbed his emerging spike against Starscream's aft, stroking his fingers in and out of Starscream's valve.

On the screen in front of them Shockwave's carefully written report was being vandalised with typos and nonsense from Starscream'ss hands braced against the keys. Every firm shove of Megatron's fingers through the mesh of his valve prompted another burst of glyphs across the page. Megatron didn't even care anymore, separating his fingers out to spread Starscream's callipers, to stretch his rim, before withdrawing them, taking the seeker's hips, and guiding his aft back.

His spike nosed at Starscream's entrance and the seeker shuddered, shifting his pedes to widen his stance. Megatron leaned over his back and nuzzled the side of his neck, circling his hips to tease his spike against Starscream's entrance, before pushing in.

Starscream gasped sharply, and Megatron wrapped his arms tight around the seeker and leaned his weight against him. Starscream was crushed against the monitor with Megatron's spike hilt deep in his valve. Megatron fragged him lazily, their frame's flush together, his hips doing the brunt of the work by grinding and rocking into his seeker's tight frame.

Megatron let his hands wander lower on Starscream's belly, and found the seeker's stiff spike trapped against the keys of the keyboard. He wrapped a large hand around it and began to pump it, his hand stroking down the shaft in time to his hips pumping forward into him. Starscream was spitting static, his claws imbedded in the keyboard, creating sparks and smoke.

The damaged worsened when Starscream overloaded, his spike spilling and shooting a streak of transfluid across the keyboard, where it leaked between the keys the created more zaps and smoke as it damaged the circuitry beneath.

Megatron was beyond caring, and about to overload himself.

He rose onto his hands above Starscream's limp, sated frame, and drew his spike back until just the tip was inside, only to plunge it deep again. He did it several more times, moving slowly, savouring Starscream's twitches and gasps until the pressure in his tanks reached it's peak and his spike _throbbed_. He overloaded with just the tip inside, emptying his transfluid into the space his spike had just filled. Starscream writhed beneath him weakly, wings shuddering. Megatron moaned as the last pulse of pleasure began to ebb away, but pushed his spike deep into Starscream's valve one last time, dislodging all the transfluid he had deposited with an obscene sounding squelch. It escaped around the rim of Starscream's valve and dripped down his aft to patter on the floor between their pedes.

Megatron studied the mess he'd made, before slowly pulling out and taking a step back, leaving Starscream sprawled across the keyboard, his valve flushed and silvery, transfluid still welling at the rim and dripping down.

Megatron glanced at the screen above, and the error message marring it. He supposed he couldn't blame Starscream entirely...

He fell back into his seat with a thump, and after a moment, Starscream slithered off the monitor and collapsed into his lap.

Megatron tucked an arm under Starscream's knees and lifted his legs up into the seat so the seeker was sat sidesaddle in his lap. Starscream wrapped his arms around his neck with a contented sigh, shuttering his optics in exhaustion.

Megatron glanced at the monitor again. That report still needed seeing to, and repairing the main console was only going to make his night longer.

He stood, Starscream in his arms. "You need to return to recharge."

Starscream hummed, nuzzling the side of his head, slowly letting his legs down. "Don't keep me waiting."

Their nuzzle easily became a kiss, Starscream clutching the nape of his neck and Megatron stroking the small of Starscream's back. Their noses kept nudging and their lips would only part to shift their alignment. They seemed stuck in the moment between togetherness and parting, with neither one of them wanting to follow through.

Starscream murmured something sleepily against his lips; three words, eight letters. It sounded so natural and normal Megatron mumbled it back between their kisses, "I love you."

They parted with one last nuzzle, slipping out of one another hands. Starscream made his shaky way towards the door, and Megatron turned back to the wrecked monitor. And a full _five seconds_ passed before the magnitude of what had just been _admitted_ hit them in unison.

Megatron span in a tornado of armour, just as Starscream tripped over the threshold.

Starscream straightened back up and stared at Megatron, optics wide. He pointed, "You just-!"

"You said it first!" Megatron barked, thrusting a finger back at him.

"I- you-!" Starscream floundered. "...Well, maybe I meant it!"

Megatron puffed up his chest. "And who is to say I didn't?"

"Alright," Starscream folded his arms about his chest stubbornly. "So we love each other then."

"It appears so."

"Fine."

"Good."

"_Wonderful_."

They lapsed into an odd sort of silence, glaring at one another. Megatron's spark twisted as he thought of all the sentimental things he should really be filling this silence with...

"Just, don't be long," Starscream finally spoke from the doorway, looking down at the floor. "I can't - I don't sleep without you."

Megatron nodded, Starscream's first confession still bouncing through his processor, "I won't be."

Starscream glanced up quickly, suddenly shy, then disappeared into the corridor like he couldn't bear to be seen with such warm cheeks.

Megatron studied the wreck of a monitor again. The responsible leader in him that wanted to respond to Shockwave on Cybertron was at war with the lovesick fool who wanted nothing more than to prove with more than just words what Starscream meant to him.

It wasn't much of a battle.

He rushed after Starscream, leaving the trashed monitor and the soon-to-be forgotten reports behind.

The war could wait till morning. He had a lover to be with tonight.


	8. Pet Names

The first time Megatron called him 'Star', Starscream thought the old mech was suffering a glitch.

"Star-scream," he took Megatron's big head between his hands and made him meet his optics. "Star-**_scream_**."

"I know your name," Megatron grunted, scowl framed by Starscream's sky-blue hands.

"You appear to have forgotten half of it," Starscream released with him a sneer. "Don't. How would you like it if I went around bastardising your designation?"

"You do."

"I don't!" Starscream cried, aghast. He placed his hand on his chest, "I would never."

"What was it you called me this morning?"

Starscream couldn't remember. "Lord Bucket-Head?" He guessed.

"No," Megatron's scowl deepened. "The other one."

Starscream rolled his optics. "'_Mighty_ Megatron' is not insulting."

"It is when you say it like _that_."

Starscream waved a flippant hand. "I was talking about disgusting pet names, not outright insults. I don't get my wings in a twist when you call me a fool."

"You are a fool."

"And _you've_ a bucket head," Starscream flicked the side of his helmet and smirked at the loud 'ping' it made. "Don't call me 'Star'."

"Agreed," Megatron caught his finger and gave it a threatening squeeze. "So long as you never do _that_ again."

Starscream squirmed himself free with a smirk, "Deal."

* * *

He should have been more specific in his instructions.

Forbidding Megatron the use of one pet name did not save Starscream from having to endure the countless others available to the warlord. He couldn't be in a room alone with Megatron without getting another variation of "dearest' purred into his audial. And despite his less than accepting reactions, Megatron showed no sign of letting up on the gooey, sentimental terms of address.

The one small mercy was that Megatron at least still had the decency to keep his new habit strictly between them, and wasn't -yet- addressing official handover briefs to his 'Darling'. Ugh.

"Good morning, Beautiful," Megatron rumbled into his neck.

Feeling anything _but_ first thing in the cycle, Starscream yanked the pillow out from under his own head and tried to ram it down Megatron's throat.

"For the last time-!"

Megatron dodged the pillow and tucked his arms under Starscream's frame to roll them across the berth. Starscream was on top for one brief moment of victory -in the perfect position to _strangle_ his berth-mate- before another roll had him squashed under Megatron's bulk, his wings stabbing into the berth's padding and his legs kicking weakly either side of Megatron's broad hips.

"Ack-!"

"Beautiful is not insulting," Megatron pointed out, smirking down at Starscream's flushing face.

"It is- when -you say it -like _that_!" Starscream managed to fit his arms between their frames and was struggling to push Megatron up and off. Megatron took his weight off his hands and only squashed Starscream more thoroughly. Starscream wheezed weakly.

"I said it with the utmost sincerity," Megatron leant down and nuzzled his hot cheek. Starscream winced and turned his head away.

"Fine!" Starscream cried, trying to twist his head away from Megatron's wandering lips. "Fine. Alright, you win! What do you want? You want me to stop insulting you? I'll stop-!"

Megatron followed his head and brushed the tip of his nose against Starscream's wrinkled, snarling one, completely at ease. "That would be nice..."

"And you'll stop with the stupid pet names?"

"I will, if you tell me you don't enjoy them."

Starscream thought he was going to explode. "You _know_ I don't like them!"

"You blush," Megatron dimmed his optics and brushed their mouths together. "Like a bride on their conjunxing night."

Starscream managed to free an arm and slapped Megatron across the shoulder, and earned himself a kiss for the assault. Megatron took some of the weight of him and braced a forearm against the berth beside Starscream's head.

"Go ahead. Tell me you hate it, Dearest," he challenged, brow arched knowingly.

Starscream bit his bottom lip.

"Just ...don't do it in public," he muttered, feeling a ripple of defeat slide down his spinal strut.

Megatron turned his head and deepened their next kiss, making Starscream sigh. His legs lifted from the berth to curl around Megatron's waist, a thruster sliding down to rub Megatron's aft.

"I wouldn't dream of it, sweet-spark," Megatron promised.

Starscream's spark _throbbed_ but the continuing kiss thankfully hid his thrill of delight. Megatron's mouth curled like he knew anyway, but so long as this never left their quarters, he supposed he could live with it.

He could live with being someone's sweet-spark.

* * *

All was fine and well, and Starscream had learned to accept Megatron's penchant for calling him sickening affectionate terms of endearment like 'love' and 'dear' and 'pet' and 'sweet-spark' and even, secretly, enjoyed it as a form of praise he had never really considered before -until one disastrous clash with the Autobots ruined it all.

Starscream remembered flying low across the scene of the fight, cackling as he released a volley of shots at a little yellow car doing it's best to twist and turn and lose him in the dust his tries were kicking up, until out of no where came a second yellow car. A flying Lamborghini.

Or a _thrown_ Lamborghini he realised a spilt second later, when Sunstreaker's strong arms wrapped around a wing and sent him into a spin. He screeched, the Autobot lost his grip, but Starscream still plummeted to the ground. He transformed out of jet-mode to save his nosecone, but realised a moment later, before face-planting the ground, that that had been a bad idea.

He didn't realise just how bad until an unidentifiable amount of time later, when hands rolled him onto his back and his vision of the blue sky was marred by cracked glass and the purple blur of energon.

"Starscream, sweet-spark, can you hear me?" Megatron's voice was muffled by the roar in Starscream's audials.

He blinked, blurring the energon streaking his visor further, and found himself looking at _four_ Megatron's. He swallowed, tasting energon. When he went to wet his lips, he realised he was missing denta.

"-nice landing, Screamer!" Skywarp's face suddenly appeared on his other side. "Your face broke your fall."

Megatron's big arm shoved Skywarp out of sight. "Are you functional?" He asked.

Starscream gingerly lifted a hand to his face, which felt stiff and numb where his pain sensors had switched off. It felt damp with energon and his broken face plates had turned his once beautiful complexion into a crater. He couldn't even grimace because his facial sensors were offline.

"My nose!" He cried, poking the bent bridge mournfully.

He heard a scoff from above again and tilted his head back to find Thundercracker rolling his optics. "Yeah, he's fine."

Megatron nodded, straightening up again, "Take him back," he ordered Thundercracker. "See that Hook checks for processor damage."

"Sure thing, sir!" Skywarp's eager face bounced back into view. He threw Megatron a salute before stooping to help drag Starscream upright.

"Come on, _sweet-spark_," Skywarp mocked quietly, smirk mean and promising. "Let's get that pretty face put back to normal."

Starscream made a mournful noise. The gossip would be all over the faction before Megatron even called the retreat.

So much for his tattered dignity.


	9. Pinned Down

Starscream wasn't much of a hugger. He claimed to enjoy his own space to sprawl, to spread limbs and wings out. He "needed" the freedom to toss and turn in his sleep, without the stifling presence of another mech invading his space, or stealing his covers, or Primus forbid, trying to _spoon_ him

Unfortunate then, that more often than not he was bedded by Megatron; a rather big fan of spooning warm, smooth seekers.

Starscream was only a head and a half shorter than him but less half his mass, and often tucked himself close to the edge of the berth. Seekers were compact and small, with everything packed in tightly for aerodynamic purposes. The downside to such a design was that it made a jet like Starscream run hot on a night, and when sharing a berth with him it often felt like there was a personal heater under the covers right next to Megatron. It was hard to resist cleaving close to such a cozy frame.

So he gravitated towards Starscream anyway, unconscious or awake, and usually ended up with sharp elbow in the gut for his audacity.

He grunted, blinking an optic online to find Starscream glaring over a wing at the arm Megatron had just tried to throw over his waist.

"Stay on your side."

"Both sides are _my side_," Megatron growled. "This is my berth."

Starscream tightened the covers around himself to ward Megatron off. For someone so much smaller than him, Megatron couldn't understand why the seeker needed twice as many sheets. He shuffled closer regardless, just to make his point, and narrowly avoided a heeled kick to the shin.

"What are you doing?" Starscream squinted suspiciously.

"I'm trying to spoon you."

Starscream wriggled more violently, "That's not all you'll do."

"However did you guess?" Megatron couldn't help his smirk.

He slipped his hands under Starscream's half of the covers and caught two handfuls of generous hip armour. Starscream tried to peddle kick him off, but by then it was too late. The covers flew away with a flurry of fabric and were thrown to the end on the berth.

Starscream's surprised yelp transmuted in a reluctant but genuine huff of amusement when Megatron gathered him up in his arms and held him close, chest-to-chest, hip-to-hip. Despite Starscream's formidable frame, the seeker felt small in Megatron's arms, slender and delicate. Starscream's trim waist was of a size with one of his thick thighs, and his hands -blue and elegant with tapered, clawed digits- felt dainty where they lay against Megatron's hard, flat, battle-scarred chest.

He leant down and brushed their noses together, his own crocked bridge against Starscream's elegant, upturned, button nose. He leaned up and kissed it, watching Starscream's face twist in displeasure.

"Don't be weird," Starscream warned. "If you're going to frag me, do it. You know I don't like you goofing around with me."

'Goofing around' was foreplay. And more often than not, any other physical touch that didn't have a direction correlation to fragging him through the berth was time wasted to Starscream.

And that suited Megatron just fine.

He reached between them and pressed a thumb to Starscream's valve panel. It popped under the barest hint of pressure, revealing the damp pleats of dark mesh beneath. Starscream laid back and tilted his hips forward encouragingly. Megatron lowered himself between his thighs, letting his weight rest atop Starscream.

Starscream's fingers shook against his shoulders, a shuddering sigh breaking free of his vocaliser. The seeker's armour creaked under Megatron's weight, Starscream's vents becoming laboured as they struggled to take in sufficient air.

Megatron tucked his head into the crock of Starscream's neck and hummed as he started to grind against him, his spike still tucked into it's housing as he rubbed his blunt codpiece against Starscream's soft valve. Lubricant spread across his armour in dark smears.

He lifted his hips and heard Starscream suck in a sharp breath as he freed his spike. The thick length bobbed free. He lowered himself again to rub it against Starscream's hip promisingly, before gripping it's shaft and letting the smooth metal rub up and down between the mesh of Starscream's valve, gathering lubricant.

He took Starscream wrists and prised the seeker's claws from his chest to transfer them into one hand above his head, pinning him to the berth and stretching Starscream's supple frame out. He used his free hand to nose his spike around Starscream's entrance teasingly.

He pressed the blunt head in, and watched Starscream shiver in anticipation.

He slid home, feeling mesh and callipers split apart to grant him access, then grip at his spike when it was all the way inside. Starscream cried, head dropping back and body jumping at the rough penetration. The panel covering the seeker's spike-housing had sprung open, and Starscream's crimson spike was steadily emerging, curving towards his now distended belly.

Megatron waited a moment, shifting inside him, studying the swell of Starscream's cockpit and the bump in his lower abdomen where internals had been pushed aside by his much too large spike. Starscream turned his head and moaned against his own arm, his wings twitching against the berth covers.

Megatron drew back. Slowly. He watched the bulge in Starscream's belly disappear as his spike slid easily out of his valve, now slick with lubricants and pulsing with arousal. With a sigh he pressed into Starscream again.

Unable to delay any longer, he began to frag him. He did it lazily, keeping his weight on Starscream and letting his hips do the work, tensing his abdomen and rocking and grinding into Starscream's silky sweet heat.

Starscream bit his lip to muffle his moans. His fingers were curled into claws against his palms, Megatron's grip still tight on his pinned wrists. Starscream's frame jolted when he overloaded quickly, and Megatron purred when he felt a sudden bloom of heat between their bellies where Starscream's spike had shot it's load across their chassis's.

He dipped his head and kissed Starscream throughly, moving fast and harsh now, chasing his overload down and driving into Starscream's soft, sensitive valve. He tried to move as deep and fast into Starscream's smaller frame as he could before his own finish came crashing into him.

He threw his head back with a roar, his fuel pump thudding in his audials and drowning out the sound of Starscream's sharp gasps. He rode through the blissful feeling, wanting to prologue it as much as he could, only slowing when his spike became too sensitive and the last few pulses of transfluid leaked free.

He fell atop Starscream with a grunt, hearing vents wheeze and armour creak.

Starscream twitched beneath him, and Megatron slipped his hands beneath his smaller frame to wrap him in a tight hug.

"You're _crushing_ me," Starscream's broken, hoarse voice complained against his chest.

"Hmm," Megatron squeezed his mate tighter and rubbed their cheeks together, affection for him blooming through his spark chamber. "I know."

Starscream wheezed.


	10. Heavy Cargo

Megatron lumbered along sedately, great heaving pedes moving at half the speed of his usual stride. Forgetting for a moment how encumbered his leader was, Starscream had swooped off ahead, and only when reaching the other end of the corridor did he realised he'd arrived unaccompanied. He paused, looked back, rolled his optics, and began to stomp back the way he had came.

"This is getting ridiculous," he hissed, shaking his head.

"What is?" Megatron grunted, pace even and unhurried, not _slow_, but measured, and easy on his aching joints.

"_You_ are," Starscream accused. "You're ridiculous. It's like walking with a cargo ship."

Megatron's short temper flared and he threw out an arm to cuff Starscream around the back of the head. His swing was also slow though, and Starscream ducked under his arm and moved to stand on his other side with ease, folding his arms and tapping his pede as he waited for Megatron to shift his great frame around to face him again.

"See."

Megatron snorted and moved along, struggling to lengthen his stride to get away from the pesky, buzzing seeker.

"Soundwave and I have been talking," Starscream began again.

"Primus forbid," Megatron muttered, wishing he could transform just to _shoot_ him.

"About your ...condition," Starscream clarified, appearing in front of him and walking backwards to keep his gaze. Megatron grunted and glared down at his pedes as he walked, refusing to meet the seeker's optics. "It's been decided-"

"_What_ has been decided?" Megatron interrupted quickly, halting in place. "Who has the right to be making _decisions_ without my blessing-"

"It's been _decided_-" Starscream repeated louder, ignoring his indignant snarls. "-That you should take the rest of the trimester off as leave."

Like Hell.

Megatron strode forward with purpose, pushing past Starscream and knocking him aside with his shoulder, "A decision I am vetoing."

Starscream made an indignant hissing noise, his heels clicking on the decking as he rushed to follow Megatron. "You can't veto it! It's been decided and you're outnumbered three-to-one. For the future of the fraction you _will_ stand dow-"

"Three-to-one?" Megatron span to stare at his second, horrified.

Never before had he thought it possible that his three highest ranking officers could come together and actually agree on something. It was part of the reason why they _were_ his three highest ranking officers. He had thought they were the safest options in regards to command staff. Three mechs that hated one another _so much_ it was unthinkable that they could ever band together to oust him.

Yet here he was. Being ousted.

"This is a new _low_," he growled when he finally recovered. "An underhanded attempt to remove me when I am at my most vulnerable."

Starscream pinched the bridge of his narrow nose and clenched his optics shut. "You're such a drama queen. You're not being overthrown, you're being taken off-duty because you're unfit to lead."

"Unfit?" Megatron stalked forward and loomed over the seeker. "_Unfit_?!"

Uncowed, Starscream arched a brow and looked Megatron's frame up and down. He held up ten fingers. Ten points, which he then did Megatron the _honour_ of listing off.

"You're five tonnes heavier, slower than a space slug, can't see your own feet, keep falling asleep during the war briefs," Starscream's fingers folded down, one-by-one. "You can't _fight_ because every time you stand up too fast you think you're going to purge, you can't lead war councils because every time you feel _stressed_ you need to lie down on the floor, you-"

"Enough!" Megatron bellowed, slamming a fist into the bulkhead beside Starscream's head, leaving a sizeable dent. Starscream didn't even blink. "I would like to see how _you'd_ fair in my position!"

"I suppose we'll never know," Starscream shrugged, unbothered. "My gestation tank is not equipped to carry more than one sparkling at a time. You have your own prehistoric, low-caste coding to thank for the six kicking around in yours."

Megatron grit his denta together resentfully. Just to further sink his mood, one of the sparklings inside him proved their sire's words true by kicking him right in the fuel tank. He suppressed a wince and rubbed a hand over his chassis. "...I won't be ejected from my own war councils."

Starscream smirked, "I'm sure. It _is_ a nice dark room to take naps in."

For someone who professed to care about his stress levels, Starscream wasn't doing a very good job of keeping them low. Megatron braced a servo against the bulkhead he had dented and leant there, needing a moment to recover from the exhausting ordeal of having lifted himself up out of his throne and walked down a corridor.

The sparklings wouldn't emerge for another month yet, but he was already beginning to feel like a tanker...

A soft touch fell to his arm. "Why don't we return to your quarters?" Starscream purred, stroking his forearm. "And I'll have the war council postponed."

"Till when I'm asleep and cannot voice a protest?" Megatron guessed.

"You know me well," Starscream smiled and tugged on his arm lightly. "Come, let me ease some of that tension away."

Megatron's overtaxed frame wasn't so worn out that it didn't warm to the thought of Starscream bestowing some much needed attention on him. He straightened as best he could and let Starscream lead him back the way they'd come.

He leant against Starscream's shoulder as they walked, taking some of the weight off his aching knee joints. Starscream was strong enough to support him, like any good sire would be.

"Next time, _you're_ carrying the spawn," Megatron growled.

Starscream laughed, patting his arm affectionately. "In your dreams."


	11. Accidental Marriage

Trade missions were a relatively new thing the Decepticons were trying out, and only at Soundwave's insistence.

His Third In Command wasn't often wrong, so unlike with Starscream, Megatron had little grounds to shoot his suggestions down without at least trying them first. Often when the Decepticons needed something, they simply conquered those who possessed it and took it for themselves. But dragging the entirety of their galaxy into their war and turning _every_ alien civilisation within hyper jump distance against them and into the welcoming arms of the Autobots was not a viable long term solution if they wanted to eventually _win_ this thing.

Chalirium was a planet some three thousand lights years from Cybertron, occupied by a techno-organic populace descended from the Cybertronians that had colonised it forty million years ago and gradually interbred with the local populace.

They looked enough like a Cybertronian that they didn't make Starscream physically recoil upon setting sight on them, but there was something unsettling about their optics; the metal and glass components interspersed with the organic tissue. Megatron hissed at Starscream to not stare. But the seeker could be so socially incapable he just couldn't be helped.

So if Starscream offended the Chaliriums and they decided to kill him, Megatron decided it would probably be best if he just let them.

Despite all the stupid expressions Starscream was pulling, the Chaliriums were welcoming hosts, and greeted their would-be invaders with gifts and fuel and a party to celebrate their newfound political union. Megatron found himself being ushered onto a platform with Starscream, above crowds of colourful cheering Chaliriums.

"Something is not right," Starscream muttered, arms tucked tightly around his frame, shying away from the attention with uncharacteristic reservation. He tried to inch himself behind Megatron out of view, but was quickly elbowed back into place by his less than patient leader.

"Stand up straight," Megatron surveyed the swelling crowd of techno-organics, chin up and shoulders back, presenting them with the image of a strong, proud ally. "And here I would have thought this was one of your sweetest fantasies? Standing to the applause of a screaming crowd."

Starscream didn't look amused. He kept his arms crossed tightly. "So they've agreed to be our allies? That was quick."

"Either our allies or our enemies, and everyone this side off the galaxy knows what happens to the _latter_," Megatron leant close to Starscream's head vent and purred out of the corner of this mouth.

Starscream leaned back with a sneer. "You're blinded by your own ego. These Chaliriums want nothing to do with Decepticons. Look at them! They're _happy_! Why would they want to make an alliance with us? All we have are guns. And they're probably not even compatible with these freaks-"

"Starscream," Megatron bit out, keen optics flicking to where one of the more important looking Chaliriums was ascending to the platform to approach them. He was wearing a veil of silk and clear cascading stones. He carried two pieces of ornate glass. One in each hand.

"To your union!" He cried, extending the glass.

"_Our_ union?" Starscream muttered.

Megatron took the offered glass ornament without hesitation, wanting to keep up appearances. He turned it over in his hand, realising it was an intricately glass blown star. The Chalirium offered the other ornament to Starscream. Starscream sneered but snatched it for himself. Megatron couldn't tell from this angle what his depicted.

"They have accepted each other's offerings!" the veiled Chalirium cried, turning to the crowd with his arms lifted high. "They are now one under the light of the moon god!"

Megatron turned to the crowd and stared like a turbo-dear caught in headlights, what was _actually_ happening here suddenly hitting him like a supply ship through a hyper-lane.

"What," He said stupidly.

Next to him Starscream was stood staring at his glass ornament with a disgusted expression, as of yet unaware that the Chaliriums had just declared them 'One'. Megatron finally saw what his ornament was; a gun.

"Why is mine so ugly?" Starscream muttered, choosing now of all times to be oblivious.

"Starscream." Megatron muttered out of the corner of his mouth, lifting his hand to wave at the crowd so as not to rouse anyone's suspicions.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm smiling," Starscream muttered and lifted his own hand in a halfhearted wave.

"No," Megatron seized his hand midair. And the crowd below roared at the sight. Starscream blinked in surprise at the sudden rise in volume and Megatron quickly arranged his expression into one of false happiness, speaking through clenched teeth. "We've just been married."

Starscream blinked at him. "We've just been _what_-?"

"To the happy couple!" The Chalirium that had married them declared and gestured for his waiting servants to approach with their armfuls upon armfuls of gifts. Starscream's optics light up at the sight of them, and just like that, all common sense left the foolish seeker's head.

"Is that _polish_?!" Starscream gushed, wings shooting upright.

"Starscream," Megatron hissed, squeezing his hand to tug him back into reality. "They just _married_ us-"

Starscream's mouth curled into an cruel, spiteful sort of smile, "Well I tried to warn you, dear leader. So don't you think the _least_ you can do before divorcing me is letting me enjoy those generous gifts?"

Megatron released Starscream's greedy little claws and watched the seeker swan off to graciously accept all the Chalirium's offerings, now suddenly perfectly content with the situation.

"All for me?" Megatron heard him gush. "How generous!"

"There are more to come," the joyous Chalirium that just _loved_ to marry people off without their knowledge boomed loudly. "They await you in your honeymoon suite."

_That_ certainly wiped the smile off Starscream's devious face.

"The what?"

"No time to waste!" The Chalirium clapped his hands began to usher Starscream along. Megatron watched as the seeker soon found himself in the clutches of the gift-bearing servants, being guided off towards the dreaded honeymoon suite. "The night is not long enough."

Another servant came to usher Megatron along too. He waved them off, and strolled leisurely after Starscream. With any hope they'd stocked that suite with plenty of high-grade. He was going to need it if they were excepting him to share a berth with Starscream.

And he was going to need _double_ that if they expected him to be consummating things.

"Megatron!" Starscream cried from ahead, struggling against his captors. "_Megatron_!"

Megatron rolled his optics, wondering why he was making such a fuss about this. So much for playing things cool.

"Coming dear," he called, swiping a bottle of energon-wine off one of the servant's golden trays and throwing it back for a long, deep swig. It warmed his tanks and steeled his resolve for what was inevitably going to be a _very_ long night.

He was going to _kill_ Soundwave.


	12. Gift Exchange

It wasn't that Starscream was thoughtless, simply that he didn't ...give others much thought. He knew the winter solstice had been approaching for some time, but the idea of acquiring gifts for others just hadn't occurred to him.

Skywarp dumped a tub of polish down in front of him in the mess hard enough to rattle the table and stood back with his hands on his hips, proud. "Here."

Starscream arched a brow, looking for a decorative bow. "I see you didn't bother wrapping it."

"Who am I, TC?" Skywarp snorted. "You're lucky it's new. I was gonna give you the half empty one and keep this for myself but Thundercracker said that was gross." He shrugged, "So you better have gotten something good for me."

Starscream stuck his nose in the air. "I don't buy gifts. I receive them."

Skywarp's brows arched high, "Oh, okay then." He snatched the polish back.

"Hey!" Starscream stood. "That was mine."

"I'm under no obligation to give you anything," Skywarp huffed, stuffing the polish back into his subspace, out of Starscream's reach. "And I'll let TC know not to bother giving you that early universe astronomy book-"

Starscream's mouth dropped open at the thought of not getting any gifts at all.

"Fine!" He snarled, and dug a fist into his subspace. Searching around, his hand closed around a half-eaten rust stick. He thrust it out. 'Here."

Skywarp snatched the rust stick out of his hand and bit into, spraying crumbs everywhere when he laughed, "Nice try!" He danced out of reach with what remained of the rust stick when Starscream snarled and went to recover it. "And good luck pulling that with Megatron."

"What?" Starscream began to chase him around the table, but Skywarp kept cheating with warp-drive. "What about Megatron?! And give me that rust stick back-!"

"Me and TC weren't the only ones stupid enough to bother getting you something. And I don't think Megatron will be as pleased to hear you got him nothing in return seeing how much effort I hear he put into your gift."

Starscream snorted. "Megatron won't care. He hasn't got a materialistic strut in his entire frame."

Skywarp threw the rest of the rust stick into his mouth and smirked. "Yeah, good luck with that argument!"

He warped out of the room with a flash of purple, leaving Starscream gift-less and without a clue what to do.

* * *

Weapons, Megatron liked weapons didn't he?! Starscream frantically rifled through a crate of half-finished projects, throwing plasma rays and death guns all over his laboratory. He came across a promising looking crossbow and sat back with it, turning it over in his hands. It looked fairly deadly.

He gave it a test fire. The arrow ignited itself when he flicked the trigger but veered thirty degrees to the left of where he had been targeting, smashing a vial of chemicals and setting the shelf on fire. Starscream threw down the defected weapon with a snarl of frustration and dived back into the crate to continue his search, letting the fire behind him smoulder away. What was the worst that could happen anyway. They were underwater for Primus's sake.

The door to the lab whispered open behind him, but he was too busy riffling through his equipment to hear it, buried up to his torso in the large crate. He wasn't even aware of Megatron's presence in the room with him until a large, firm hand slapped him across his upturned aft.

"Ah!" Starscream shot upright, broken crossbow in hand. He swung around and fired it at the creep who had slapped him.

Fortunately, for Megatron's sake, the arrow went wide and shot right past his surprised face to imbedded itself in the wall behind him.

"Don't do that," Starscream sat back with a huff, tossing the crossbow aside. "What are you doing?"

"I came to wish you a happy solstice," Megatron said, turning slowly to study the arrow still burning against the bulkhead. He shook his head, "Your crossbow veers too far to the-"

"I know it veers to the left," Starscream grabbed the edge of a nearby desk to haul himself upright. "The solstice isn't till tomorrow. What do you want!?"

Megatron turned back to face him and straightened up, reaching into his subspace to remove something. Starscream's spark thunked in it's chamber.

"I had this commissioned for you," Megatron murmured, drawing out a bundle of silky fabric. It unfurled in his hands and became a long purple cape, embroidered in gold with traditional Vosian glyphs around the hem. Starscream's fingers shook when he reached out to take it. He didn't even care about Megatron's stupid, smug smirk.

Megatron swept the cape out of his numb hands and tossed it over his shoulders for him with flourish. Starscream stared, open mouthed, at the gold and silver clasps Megatron began to clip to his wings to secure it. They were studded with blood red crystals.

His mouth was watering.

"...This is for me?" Starscream lifted the edges.

Megatron moved to stand behind him, his heavy hands resting on Starscream's caped shoulders. "Yes."

"...Is there a matching crown?" Starscream hardly dared to dream.

Megatron tucked his head close to his, "Don't push your luck."

Starscream span, the cape flaring out behind him, and placed his hands on Megatron's chest, smoothing his hands across the hard, flat armour, tracing the scratches and dents playfully. He felt giddy, his tank flipping over with excitement. It was gorgeous. It was perfect. There was no weapon he could give Megatron that would match up to it.

Then a thought popped into his processor. He smiled promisingly, leaning closer. "Are you ready for your gift?" He purred seductively.

Megatron arched a brow. "I have to admit, I'm surprised you remembered."

Starscream pouted, mock offended, "Of course I remembered!"

Megatron's disbelief didn't recede. He tilted his head and studied Starscream's smirking face. "...Is your present a spike sucking?"

Starscream paused, his hands frozen on Megatron's chest. "...it was supposed to be a surprise."

Megatron rolled his optics. "I thought so."

Starscream scoffed, dropping to his knees, "oh, you're _so_ hard done by."

"And you're not at all spoiled," Megatron muttered, placing a hand atop his head and stroking it, watching Starscream over the top of his broad chest plate. Starscream pulled a mocking face and smoothed his fingers over Megatron's warming panels.

Megatron opened his panel and Starscream closed his mouth over his spike housing, dragging his tongue across the opening slowly. Megatron's chassis rumbled with a purr and his spike began to emerge. Starscream teased it out with his tongue, tilting his head so he could watch Megatron's face twitch through his shuttered optics.

He kissed the underside of the spike, then nuzzled it with his nose and lips, breathing heavily across the sensitive metal. It extended to it's full impressive length and Starsceam turned his head to mouth along the shaft, from base to tip, before taking the head into his mouth and suckling. Megatron's hand cupped the back of his head encouragingly, and Starscream took him deeper with a soft, interested noise, opening his throat and stretching his lips.

Megatron's spike pushed into his throat rubbing and lingered there, his fingers twitching on the back of Starscream's head. His hips rolled forwards and Starscream swallowed around him expertly, as skilled at this as he was with all things.

He began to bob his head, moaning deeply at the way the shaft slid between his wet, stretched lips. He pulled back to flick his tongue over the slit, then sucked harder, swirling his tongue around and around the tip teasingly. Megatron pushed on the back of his head and Starscream eagerly took him back into his throat, relishing the zap of charge that hit his tongue when Megatron began to overload. Starscream felt his transfluid trickle hotly down his throat and into his waiting tanks, and savoured the bitter splash of it across his tongue when Megatron pulled back before he had finished to ensure he tasted it.

Starscream made a show of swallowing, shuttering his optics and sucking lightly on the softening spike, tongue probing at the slit to get every last drop of cum. Megatron held the back of his head distractedly, thumb stroking the dark panels.

"Beautiful," Megatron murmured.

Starscream dropped the spike from his mouth and licked his lips, sitting back onto his heels. "We're even."

Megatron shook his head, cupping the side of Starscream's face to pull him closer. He stroked a thumb across Starscream's bottom lip, collecting a droplet of transfluid that had been missed and pushing it between Starscream's lips. Starscream sucked it obediently.

"That's an expensive cape you're wearing," Megatron murmured. "I might be owed a few more of your _gifts_."

Starscream arched a brow, lifting a hand to stroke lightly at the spent spike before his face. "It would be worth more, _if_ you'd gotten the matching crown."

Megatron grunted and dragged Starscream roughly closer, his spike twitching eagerly, "You'll get your crown," he muttered, fisting his spike and stroking it back to hardness.

Starscream opened his mouth again, tongue extended. Oh yes, he'd be getting that crown.


	13. Oblivious Pinning

Seekers and moody mechlings sulked. Lord Megatron, High Commander of the Decepticons forces, did not.

He brooded. He secreted himself in his vast quarters and slumped in his large seat and glared at the wall with his hands threaded together beneath his chin, and thought.

Sending Starscream to Cybertron to assist Shockwave in his projects ...had been a mistake.

He couldn't quite put his finger on _why_ that was so. On paper, the decision to relocate his first lieutenant had been nothing but successful. Insubordination was down by three hundred percent and productivity was up by almost half that. Thundercracker had been able to step into Starscream's airforce duties without so much as a stumble and Soundwave was more than capable of fulfilling the additional command duties.

Megatron glared at his bulkhead and darkened his optics.

Yes, things were going well. But sending Starscream to Cybertron ...had still been a mistake.

His comm pinged on his wrist and he reflectively dismissed it without bothering to check who it was. What seemed like a second later another chime rang out, this time for his door. Begrudgingly he sent a wireless command to unlock the door panel from his seat, and before long Soundwave, his oh-so-_productive_ Acting Second In Command came to stand before him.

"I'm busy," he grunted, and reassumed glaring at his wall. The speckling of the rust spots on the bulkhead were starting to create constellations. They all seemed to look like seekers.

_Starscream_.

"Communication from Cybertron awaiting you in the command centre," Soundwave intoned.

It took a second to compute. But when it did Megatron was up out of his seat and halfway out of the door.

"Why didn't you say so!" He bellowed over his shoulder, already striding at sped through the corridor and struggling to keep the spring out of his step.

A _week_ it had been since he had turfed his insubordinate Air Command off on Shockwave. A _week_ since he had last endured the cruel seeker's laughs and sneers and nasally sarcastic comments. A _week_ since he had heard his designation spoken with such contempt. A _week_ since he had seen that smug, handsome face.

His spark was full and pulsing, and he barged through any Decepticon foolish enough to stand between him and the command console in the middle of the room, sending hapless Decepticons crashing to the floor without a thought.

He fell into the chair and stabbed a key at random to dismiss the blank standby screen, quickly leaning back in his seat and bringing up a leg to rest it on his knee to project the appearance of being completely at ease, his large hands clasping the ends of the armrests.

The screen switched on.

And instead of the sharp optics of his pretty Vosian Air Commander, he was met with Shockwave's great yellow optic.

"Lord Megatron," Shockwave droned, "I have the honour of reporting that we have reached a monumental-"

"Starscream," Megatron blurted, his audials deaf to anything but. "Where is he?"

Shockwave paused, his optics blinking. "...Starscream has ...exceeded my expectations as a-"

"I don't want a performance review," Megatron growled. "I want _Starscream_. Now."

It was fortunate Shockwave did not have a great deal of emotions to offend, but Megatron could give little thought for anyone who did not have white wings and a devious smirk at present. He had dragged himself out of his quarters with the expectation that he would be speaking with his Second, and he wasn't going to settle for anything less.

Shockwave dipped his helm and moved out of the camera's pickup range for a moment. Megatron waited, tapping his digits against the arms of his chair. The microphone on Shockwave's end began to pick up some noises of disturbance. A crash and a squawk, a bang of someone slamming something, a fast, furious sounding argument.

Shockwave reappeared.

"Lord Megatron," he sounded surprisingly out of breath. "Starscream insists that he is otherwise occupied."

Megatron's fingers curled around his arm rests. The little snake knew what he was doing. Megatron remembered his pouting, scowling face the day he'd waved him off, and the smug underlying implication he had made that he would be back on Earth before the end of the cycle.

"_You can't possibly survive without me_," Starscream had muttered. "_You wouldn't know what to do with yourself."_

Megatron leant forward, "Tell him if he ever wants to escape the torment that is _your_ company Shockwave, he had better answer this comm now."

Shockwave stared at him for a few moments.

This time when he left the pickup view he said nothing. Megatron slumped back and waited, trying to decipher the noises in the background. High pitched arguing, another slam, and a yelp of pain he was fairly used to hearing. He sat up again, and as he suspected, Starscream finally came into view.

The seeker angrily kicked the chair sitting in front of the monitor and sent it rolling on it's wheels across the lab behind him. He stood in its place with his arms folded, his head turned standoffishly, and his nose up.

"What."

"Don't 'what' me," Megatron growled. "You haven't called."

"Neither have you," Starscream's optics opened into slits and glared. "So now what? Calling to beg for me back? I don't think Shockwave will _let_ you have me."

Megatron's chest filled with a heat that had nothing to do with affection. "Enjoying your sabbatical with him, are you?"

Starscream lifted a hand from his folded arms and wriggled it back and forth noncommittally. "Probably almost as much as you're enjoying your nice quiet base."

He lifted his head and looked away with a little huff.

Silence began to stretch between them.

Megatron shifted. "Are you not going to ask to come back?" He pressed. "I'm in a generous mood tonight, but it won't last for long."

"Aren't _you_ going to ask for me to come back?" Starscream snapped his head down to fix him with a sharp, harsh glower. "I can't possibly abandon Shockwave now. He needs me-"

Megatron's fist slammed into the arm rest, denting it, "Like Pit does he need you-!"

"Then why did you send me here in the first place!" Starscream snarled.

Megatron sat back and clenched his jaw. Starscream stared at him, wings flicking. Behind him, at the very edge of the pickup, there was a flash of purple. Megatron squinted at it. Starscream noticed his wavering attention and snapped his gaze to the left.

"Shockwave!" He snarled, and thrust out a hand to shove the purple shape away. "Private conversation!"

Megatron heard a low mournful noise in the background.

"It would be private if you weren't shrieking!" Megatron barked loudly, oblivious to his own volume.

"Primus," Starscream muttered, leaning forward and scanning the control keys. "Where's the mute button-"

"Don't you dare silence me!"

"I wouldn't be able to if I where there in _person_~" Starscream sang nastily. "But _no_, you sent me away-!"

"And you're not doing a good job of convincing me to take you back."

"I don't need to convince you!" Starscream snarled. "It's obvious you're desperate for my return. What's happening down there, Megatron? Is your base falling apart? Are your soldiers starving in the lack of successful raids?"

Megatron stood from his chair and gripped the console, leaning closer. "Quite the contrary, Starscream," he hissed. "I'll have to have Soundwave send you the stats, but in the absence of your inept bumbling, we're having our best week yet."

Starscream's lips pursed together. "...I see. So you called to gloat."

Megatron's gleeful smile faltered at the look of genuine hurt that crossed the seeker's face. "I- no?"

"No?" Starscream's brow arched at his unsure tone.

Megatron fell back into his seat with a thunk, bringing his hand up to stroke his chin thoughtly, wondering how he was going to talk himself out of a box.

"Well?" Starscream's voice crackled the speakers.

Megatron worked his throat, struggling to swallow his pride. It tasted bitter, but his old, blackened spark was _aching_, and that wouldn't do at all.

"I am calling you back to Earth. I have ...need of you."

Starscream didn't react for a moment. And Megatron fell into a false sense of hope that perhaps the seeker had finally learned some humility when-

"A-_ha_!" He cried, thrusting a finger at the screen. Megatron scowled, already awash with regret. "I _knew_ it. You need me-!"

"I do not-"

"You just said it!" Starscream cried victoriously, voice rising in pitch to betray his growing excitement. "As much as it'll _pain_ me to say goodbye to Shockwave and abandon my work here, duty calls. I shall miss Cybertron-"

"Shut up and get back here," Megatron grumped. "I will compensate Shockwave with another assistant. Perhaps Soundwave will suffice."

Starscream snorted, "Soundwave can't possibly-"

A purple hand shot out from offscreen and shoved Starscream right out of the pickup view. Megatron heard him crash and curse in the background when Shockwave came back into view, looking surprisingly frantic for a mech with no expressions. "Soundwave is adequate, Lord Megatron. I will need him immediately."

A blue hand slapped to the console as Starscream began to pick himself back up again, wincing. "You sociopathic-!"

"Starscream," Megatron called, and the seeker's optics snapped to him, wide and hopeful. "I require your return within the hour."

Starscream brushed himself off and nodded, "Yes Mighty Leader," he purred.

Megatron took one last look at Starscream's dark handsome face before switching the communicator off and settling back in his seat.

Soon Starscream would be back to terrorising his seekers and running amuck of his base.

He smiled to himself, unable to decipher why his spark seemed to think that was such a good thing.


	14. A Big Scream

Megatron shifted in Starscream's arms, armour tingling from the sensation of the his berth-partner's large vents expelling hot air across the back of his neck. It would take him some time to become accustomed to being the small spoon in his relationship for once - to turning over in berth and finding a wall of armour resting next to him instead of the once slight and slender seeker he had previously shared the space with.

The arms around his middle tightened when Starscream shifted in his recharge, powerful, massive arms creaking. Megatron grunted and shuddered, laying his own arms atop the ones criss-crossing his chest. Starscream nuzzled into the back of his neck and huffed, cuddling him like a sparkling would cling to their favourite toy.

There was no use struggling. Megatron had learned quickly how impossible it was to break Starscream's grip, and whenever the larger flier climbed into berth with Megatron the berth padding would dip so severely he'd find himself rolling into the jet's arms anyway. One small mercy was that Starscream had at least realised he was no longer the light, 'lap'-seeker he once had been, and had extended Megatron the favour of no longer climbing on top of him and squashing him under his substantial, inescapable weight.

He turned in Starscream's arms and peaked at his berth-mate's pale, new face. It was still Starscream of course. The same upturned nose and big optics. The same shape to his jaw and sharp narrow chin. Still Starscream. Simply ...big.

The squirming seemed to rouse Starscream, and the arms around Megatron tightened minutely before his lilac optics blinked online. Confused, he squinted at Megatron for a moment, before groaning tiredly. His arms relaxed and began to slip away from Megatron with a vague mumble of apology.

"What are you doing?" Megatron murmured, deep voice a harsh growl in the silentness of their quarters.

The berth shook precariously under Starscream's weight when he shifted. "Trying not to crush you."

Megatron rolled his optics and sat up, placing a hand on Starscream's shoulder to turn him back over. "I can take it."

Starscream looked annoyed. "Oh you can '_take it'_. Nice."

"I want to take it," Megatron repeated, face warming a little at having to spell it out to him. He wasn't simply talking about Starscream's overwhelming _hugs_.

Lilac optics blinked at him through the darkness, before narrowing suspiciously. "Want to take _what_?"

Megatron lifted his chin in hopes a standoffish stance could preserve some of his dignity. _Any_ of his dignity.

But Starscream had clocked on to his meaning and there was no backing out now, no chance Starscream wasn't going to explore this avenue further.

Starscream sat up and the berth groaned painfully, springs pinging under the padding like they were one bounce away from snapping. He loomed over Megetron, even like this.

It was ...intimidating. In a good way.

Starscream placed a hand on Megatron's chest. He could probably feel the pulse of his spark beating through the thick armour beneath his massive palm. The hand pushed and Megatron fell back to the berth with a dull thump, the sheets rustling as Starscream's huge frame began to rise, a mountain of glimmering armour moving over him, thighs as big as his torso straddling his waist and hands like shields either side of his head.

Starscream's double wings were huge shadows behind him, and Megatron sunk further into the berth padding, breath rushing from his vents in awe.

"You really do want to take it, don't you," Starscream purred. And his voice, though still nasally and infuriating, deepened in his massive chest. Megatron shuddered, hands lifting to circle the wrists either side of his head.

Starscream leant down and Megatron strained his neck, lips parted to receive a slow, lazily kiss. He moaned encouragingly, optics turning pink with lust as his processor slowed to a drag and zeroed in on just the flick of Starscream's tongue and the presence of his huge frame.

It was embarrassing how submissive his frame wanted him to be, mortifying even, that he could already felt his valve aching as it cycled down on nothing. Starscream had spiked him plenty of times before his reformation, and it had ruined him even then. But now, twice his size, twice as strong...?

He shuddered at just the thought, squeezing Starscream's wrists. Starscream left his mouth and kissed down the column of his neck, dragging the wet side of his lips across the warmed fuel cables. Megatron pushed into it, his back rising off the berth in search of Starscream's frame.

Starscream's mouth reached his collar and licked into the clavicle seam there. His hand came away from the berth to stroke over Megatron's helm, fingers still clawed but blunter, stronger, capable of rendering armour of any thickness.

"I'm going to make you scream," he whispered softly.

Megatron's internals twisted up at that statement. Heat washed across his face. He turned it to the side. "Primus, Starscream."

A warm, deep laugh, and Starscream's head lifted. He met Megatron's gaze, his optics dimming to indigo when he smirked. "Do you want me to frag you?" He asked, and asked _gently_, a contradiction to what Megatron knew he was like when he spiked.

Megatron nodded his head frantically, dumb with lust. He snapped his panel away without a care and Starscream's hand fell between his legs, stroking the insides of his thighs and ignoring the quivering valve so desperate for attention.

"Please," he choked.

"Well, since you asked nicely," Starscream stroked an index finger over his opening, back and forth, before slipping it into him. Megatron cycled down on it with a soft exhale, his knee twitching when it began to move in and out of him.

He moaned when the knuckle nudged a bundle of sensors behind the rim, shooting pleasure up his spine.

Removing his finger and Starscream shifted above him, the berth shaking violently with his movements. Megatron was limp and helpless when Starscream scooped up his hips and shuffled himself between his thighs. Megatron lay with his shoulders and head on the berth and his aft in Starscream's wide lap, his legs splayed around the jets's hips.

Starscream bent over him and nudged his codpiece against Megatron's exposed valve, the seams catching against his sensitive outer node and making him see stars when he rocked against it. Megatron's lubricants smeared his armour, leaving fragrant, translucent streaks across the polished metal. For once, Starscream didn't seem to mind that he was making a mess of him.

Starscream opened his codpiece and let his spike emerge. Megatron watched through hooded optics as the long, broad length extended against his abdomen, the seam at the tip already glimmering with gathering fluid, and the bio-light highlighting the sensor at the tip pulsing softly. The spike was smooth and polished, striped white and blue and glowing with one long bio-light running down the length of it's underside. Megatron reached for it, running a finger up it's underside, from base to swaying tip.

Starscream sat back on his heels and squeezed his thighs, and Megatron reached for his own valve to spread the folds, exposing the soft inner petals. Starscream guided his spike to them, letting the tip nose around the flexible rim, before pressing against it. Megatron tensed, splayed his thighs a little wider, and sucked in a sharp breath when Starscream's impressive girth finally breached him and sank a third of it's length into his valve.

He moaned gutturally, arching clean off the berth. Starscream purred and wrapped Megatron's legs around his waist, leaning over him and bending him almost in half when he placed his hands on the berth either side of Megatron's shoulders and began to rock his hips down.

Megatron's legs bounced in the air and he shouted when Starscream hilted himself, the thick spike straining his mesh to capacity. Every flex and shift set off a fireworks display of sensation in his valve. He cursed vulgarly, and Starscream chuckled darkly in his audial, draping himself over Megatron's frame to nuzzle at his audial.

Megatron turned his head to the side, trying to hide his pink cheeks and watering optics. Starscream pressed deeper and smiled against his hot cheek when he heard him wince and gasp.

"Don't hide from me," he purred, grinding into him gently. "Look at me, Megatron. I want you to look at me."

Megatron's humiliation only saturated his pleasure. He flicked watery optics in Starscream's direction and met the gaze of one very, _very_ smug jet. Starscream's smirk widened, and he started to move. Fast.

Megatron howled and clung to him, his frame fairing little better than the berth beneath them creaking and groaning and banging against the bulkhead. Starscream grit his denta and looked like a seeker on a mission, thrusting into him sharp and fast and deep. Megatron came with embarrassing swiftness, sobbing Starscream's name, heedless of the coolant streaking down his face at the intensity of it.

Starscream kept going, bearing down on him, putting more weight and strength behind his driving thrusts. Sensitive and broken, Megatron grunted listlessly with every pump of Starscream's hips, his frame arching into the strut-melting plunge of his spike like a pleasure drone that just couldn't get enough.

Starscream rose onto his knees and lifted Megatron's aft into the air, now leaving only Megatron's head on the berth. Starscream tensed his abdomen and began to jutt into him. He overloaded with a cry, tossing his head back and bucking widely, his spike emptying pulse after pulse into Megatron's internals.

Finally, it was done, and Megatron found himself falling back to the berth with Starscream's hot overworked frame slumped atop him. He wrapped his arms around the larger mech as best he could, pushing his nose against Starscream's massive shoulder and sniffing wetly.

Starscream shifted and pulled out of his aching valve with an inquiring mumble.

"Fine," Megatron breathed, optics too heavy to online. "Better than fine."

He felt Starscream smirk against his cheek, "I'll bet."

Megatron halfheartedly slapped his shoulder. And Starscream took his revenge by letting the rest of his substantial weight fall atop Megatron's spent frame.

"Ugh!"

It was unlikely Starscream would bore of _that_ novelty for some time.


	15. Bad Babysitting

Megatron did not have a lot of patience for sparklings. Even less so for loud, demanding sparkling's living in _his_ base. He looked down his proud nose at the little scrap of armour squirming like a bug in the cradle, and his lip curled.

"And what exactly are you screaming at me for _now_?" He rumbled, tone dripping with contempt.

Orange optics blinked up at him, one at a time. It didn't appear to know _what_ it had been shrieking about, which did little to warm Megatron towards it. Skywarp and Thundercracker had revealed the existence of their little bundle of joy just three cycles ago, stuttering and shaking and clinging to it as through they feared their leader might rip their offspring from their very hands and _physically_ evict it from his base.

He might have done -for their audacity-

-Had the arrival of the sparkling not also awoken something primitive and powerful in Megatron's Second In Command.

There was some line of coding, some prehistoric protocol, that had turned Starscream into something markedly _less_ than the deadly warrior he should be. It was the same something that had brainwashed Thundercracker and Skywarp to the 'joys' of parenthood and made them so attached to their little one in the first place.

It was obvious Starscream was just as affected as his trine. Megatron remembered the feel of cold steel under his chin when Starscream -sat astride his lap- ambushed him halfway through their lovemaking with, "_Lay so much as a finger on that sparkling and I'll make sure you'll never be capable of siring your own."_

A formidable threat to hear halfway through a frag. He'd slapped the knife away and pinned Starscream face down against the berth padding and sworn that as little as he cared for tiny, helpless, useless things, the sparkling would suffer no threat from him. (Though Megatron didn't want to think about what it was about Starscream's bared denta and hissing snarls that had given him such a mind-blowing overload as a result of the ordeal).

Despite the ruckus of that night, Starscream seemed to have taken him at his word, because the very next cycle here he was, alone with the blasted thing, roped into 'babysitting' duties along with Starscream while the irresponsible parents were off on a patrol Megatron drew the line at them being allowed to skip. The last thing he wanted was any other seekers getting the impression they could shirk duties all because they've been foolish enough to spark themselves.

Ten minutes in and Starscream had wandered off in search of low-grade for the sparkling, seeming to think fuelling it would shut it up, and Megatron, who had been content to sit on the sidelines and ignore it's presence, had been unfortunately unable to ignore it's screaming as well.

"I'm beginning to suspect it wasn't _Skywarp_ that sired you," Megatron growled over the wailing cries, studying the sparkling's tiny frame. "And considering how free and lose your kind are..."

The sparkling blinked up at him, cries subsiding for a moment as it hiccuped quietly to itself. _All_ sparklings screamed, Starscream had claimed, annoyed at the underling accusation Megatron had made when pointing up the similarities between the screaming infant and his loud second.

The sparking scrunched up it's face and began to whimper again, vents hitching. Megatron bared his denta, hoping an act of intimidation would make the thing _stop_. It didn't. Tiny arms began to wave, legs began to kick. The comedically useless wings on it's back wagged back and forth. It _screamed_, an awful, audial-shattering noise, and Megatron couldn't take it.

He reached into the cradle and hoisted the sparkling out. It weighted next to nothing and he could very easily wrap one fist around it's entire body. He held It up to optic-level, and surprised at the unconventional handling, the sparkling blinked at him in shock.

"Better," Megatron growled.

The door behind him pinged with Starscream's return.

Remembering Starscream's psychotic protectiveness over his trine's sparkling, Megatron quickly arranged the little pest into a more suitable position, letting the tiny, slightly _sticky_ thing rest against his powerful chassis. The sparkling mouthed at the edge of his shoulder, blissfully quiet, and Megatron tried not to look too uncomfortable when he turned to face Starscream.

Starscream froze in the doorway, his wings flopping low then picking right back up again in interest.

"What?" Megatron huffed, awkwardly patting the sparkling's tiny back like he knew what he was doing.

Something in Starscream's demeanour changed. His optics were lighter when he met Megatron's gaze optics, almost pink. He extended the low-grade he had left to retrieve. "Perhaps ...you would like to feed her?"

Another test. Megatron snorted and snatched the bottle of low-grade. He shook it, as he had seen Thundercracker do before to mix the solution of energon and nutritious metals, and brought it to the sparkling's mouth. It let go of his amour to take the bottle into it's mouth, sucking greedily.

Megatron smirked proudly. Easy.

He turned back to look at Starscream, and veered back at the intense, almost predatory look he received in turn. Wings had risen to their highest angle and fanned forward, and his optics were wide and bright and _fixed_ on him like lasers.

Megatron quirked a brow. "What?"

"You're a natural," Starscream said quietly.

That might have been taking things too far.

"There's nothing to it," he shrugged, peering down at the sparkling's squashed up little face as it drank.

Starscream came closer to him, leaning in so his wing brushed his back. A light hand slid up his arm. Megatron blinked and looked at Starscream again, suddenly recognising that Look. His fingers went numb and the half-finished bottle of low-grade thunked to the floor.

The sparkling screamed, and Megatron snapped out of it.

"I'll get it," Starscream purred, and to Megatron's amazement the seeker bent slowly at the waist, aft up, to pick it up for him. He rose again in one smooth, seductive movement, and pressed himself against Megatron when handing back the bottle. Megatron shoved it blindly back in the sparkling's direction, his gaze fixed on Starscream's dark seductive face. A finger began to draw patterns on his chest as the sparkling continued to fuel, but with the stupid _thing_ in his hands, Megatron could do nothing about it.

Starscream nuzzled up under his chin, breathing slowly. Megatron began to purr.

"Maybe we should make some of our own," Starscream murmured.

That was an awful idea, but it wasn't enough to kill Megatron's libido. "That would be unwise."

"Not when I have the perfect sire," Starscream purred, further proof of how badly those protocols had messed with his processor. The Starscream Megatron knew would never dedicate his life to raising ungrateful young. And certainly not with him.

Megatron gathered his resolve and shook his head, all while he continued to lean into Starscream until their noses nearly brushed. "You're not thinking clearly-"

"And think of all the _fun_ we'd have making them," Starscream whispered against his lips, his bright crimson optics filling Megatron's vision. They were hypnotising. So powerful Megatron was almost starting to think that perhaps sparklings wouldn't be so bad...

Starscream trailed a finger down his chest. "And I'd let you do _anything_ you wanted to me, to make those sparklings."

The sparkling in Megatron's arms finished it's fuel and burped. Megatron swallowed. Starscream smirked and began to ease the squirming bundle out of his arms.

"She'll sleep now," Starscream murmured, patting her back before setting her into her cradle. He rose and slipped his hand into Megatron's and began to lead him away from the sparkling towards their berth. "And my trine won't be back for _hours_ yet-"

Megatron glanced back at the dozing sparkling, "In front of-"

"She's asleep," Starscream smirked. "Just don't be loud."

"That's not generally a problem for me," Megaton couldn't help himself saying.

"Then maybe you should _gag_ me," Starscream shrugged with a sly smirk.

Megatron's entire frame pulsed with want.

To Pit with not wanting sparklings. He could worry about that later...


	16. Darkness

With energon levels currently sitting at rock bottom, Megatron had had no choice but to order further fuel conservation. With his soldiers already on the bare minimum of rations he couldn't justify cutting back any more lest he wanted to risk the faction collapsing in on itself as his starving Decepticons began to riot against him.

Principles be damned, he knew well what thirst could do to a mech.

Which left them with one optiion; rolling blackouts.

"But how will we know where we're going?" Breakdown had bemoaned upon hearing the news.

"You have _headlights_, don't you?!" Starscream had screeched at him before Megatron could even open his mouth.

Starscream and his seekers were somewhat less fortunate than the Stunticons in possessing any ability to be able to tell where they were going in the utter darkness of their underwater base during a blackout. On more than one occasion, medics had been called to the scene of a corridor where a 'seeker-collision' had taken place.

Megatron had little sympathy for the 'mishaps' though. Merely walking into someone in the dark didn't usually result in the sort of high velocity impact wounds he had seen on his seekers.

He had forbidden all unnecessary flight _weeks_ ago when their energon crisis had begun, but suspected the airforce had continued to blast their way thorough his halls as a time saving method. And these collisions were only proof that they were still doing it in the pitch black.

"This isn't working," Starscream had snarled. "I've lost an entire trine to these cursed power-cuts."

On minimum rations himself, Megatron barely had the patience for Starscream's posturing. "If your seekers weren't being so reckless-!"

"They can't _see_!"

"_I_ can't see," Megatron barked. "But you won't catch me tangled up in someone else's wiring because I was going full pelt down a corridor in the pitch black." He fixed Starscream with a hard glare, suddenly feeling much like a strict academy teacher shrieking at his students not to run in the halls.

Except he was the commander of a war faction and his 'students' were full-grown warriors that really should have known better.

Starscream folded his arms and huffed, but didn't argue. And that was that.

On the bright side, Megatron rather hoped these power-cuts could curb the seekers of their selfish power-wasting habits. They wouldn't guzzle half as much energon if they simply stuck to the ground where he had ordered them.

_He_ hadn't suffered any such unfortunate incident, and like the seekers, he also lacked a pair of headlights on his chest. Navigating the dark base wasn't difficult though. He had resided in it long enough to remember where things were, and if all else failed, he still had his proximity sensors to fall back on. Many a times had he been down a hole on Cybertron, the blackness absolute, the winding tunnels impossible to navigate, his only saving grace from tripping up and plunging into the deeper depths the crown of panels on his head.

And he was _sure_ he had read somewhere that a seeker's wings performed in a similar manner. So his airforce were running out of excuses to fall back on.

The rolling blackouts were an effective solution, and Megatron refused to hear otherwise.

Until one fateful ride in an elevator forced him to change his mind.

It was an unspoken rule that Megatron rode up the tower to the ocean's surface alone- a rule respected by any Decepticon with a decent enough sense of self-preservation. The Lord and Commander would not deign to squash himself into a stuffy little box with a dozen other mechs, and regardless of who was there first, it was simply considered good manners to step out and allow him to ride the elevator in solitude.

Frenzy and Vortex occupied the small space when he arrived, and upon seeing their commander the pair ducked their heads and squeezed out around him, mumbling their apologies. Megatron ignored them, turning and standing in the middle of the elevator, clasping his hands behind his back and standing tall as he waited for the doors to close.

"Move!"

Megatron looked up when he heard Starscream snarl and spotted the blasted seeker himself storming towards the elevator at speed, knocking aside Frenzy with brutally unnecessary carelessness.

Megatron unclasped his hands and stabbed the 'Close Door' control with such force the button broke.

Tragically, Starscream leapt over the threshold just as the doors were closing, and Megatron shuttered his optics in resignation. Starscream was not one for following rules. Unspoken or otherwise.

"Nice," Starscream muttered, eyeing the broken button as he came to stand beside Megatron. "You know what _else_ would help conserve fuel? _Sharing_ the elevator."

Megatron grit his denta and focused on the sealed doors. Trapped, alone, with Starscream in a confined space for a full elevator ride? Lovely. But at least it was only five minutes.

Seeing his leader wasn't in the mood to bicker with him, Starscream quickly bored of picking fights. He muttered something under his breath and looked away, glaring at his own section of the wall. The silence stretched between them, nothing but the rickety clacks of the elevator rising to break it.

Until it came to a sudden, juddering halt.

Starscream flung out his arms to clutch at either side of the wall and brace himself with a melodramatic gasp. Just as Megatron turned to ridicule his cowardice, the lights flickered, then shut off.

Silence.

"..._You_ and your _fragging rolling blackouts!_" Starscream snarled somewhere to his left.

"It'll pass, you impatient fool," Megatron turned in the direction he assumed the seeker still standing in to snarl nastily.

"In _two hours!_" Starscream howled, and Megatron could sense the air shifting in front of him as Starscream moved around sporadically, raising his arms and gesticulating wildly. "If I could _see_ you I'd be punching your ugly head in right now-!"

Something whooshed through the air inches from Megatron's nose.

Megatron snarled and flung out an arm in return. His knuckles grazed something and he heard Starscream hiss. The air beside his head shifted like Starscream had just thrown a punch, so he launched himself at the seeker, closing his arms around nothing but dark, empty air, and fell face-first against the elevator wall with a loud clang.

"What was that?!" Starscream yelled, sounding terrified.

"My face!" Megatron snarled, pinching his dented nose and seething. "Where are you!?"

"I'm right _here_!" Starscream claimed somewhere to the left. "I haven't moved, Mr '_You-Don't-Need-Headlights-To-Navigate-Your-Own-Base-In-The-Dark'_."

Megatron clutched at the wall as he dragged himself upright. "You were trying to attack me."

"No I wasn't!" Starscream spluttering indignantly. "I was trying to find you!" The air shifted next to Megatron again. But instead of reacting defensively, he moved towards where Starscream sounded to be. A searching hand slapped against his chest.

"Ah, there you are!" Starscream exclaimed, seemingly unaware that he was groping Megatron's chassis rather enthusiastically.

"Do you _mind_?" Megatron growled.

"Mind what?" Starscream asked cluelessly, hand sliding southward.

Megatron quickly caught it.

"Ew!" Starscream's hand squirmed out of his grip. "Let go of me!"

"You're one to talk, groping me like that," Megatron sneered. "Were you a 'masseur' before the war?"

"You wish, _creep_," Megatron could almost see Starscream standing with his hands on his hips and his nose in the air in front of him. "I don't care how many hours we're stuck in here together. We're not doing _that_."

"Then at the very least do me the privilege of offlining your vocaliser."

"Fine," Starscream huffed. "Then we'll just sit here in silence, in the dark, for hours, and do nothing."

Megatron nodded sharply, then realised Starscream couldn't see him. "Agreed."

"_Agreed_," Starscream repeated mockingly.

Silence reigned again. Megatron stuck to his side of the elevator, and Starscream remained still and silent on his left. The darkness seemed to amplify noise. Megatron could hear the quiet rumble of his own engine, and the slow deep exhale of the seeker just metres from him.

He heard Starscream shift, pedes scuffing the floor.

"...You wanna make-out?" His voice asked quietly.

Megatron glared into the darkness.

"...Well there's certainly nothing better to do in here," he relented without much of a fight, turning towards Starscream and blinking in surprise when their chests bumped in the dark.

Hands fell to his armour and he felt Starscream's breath waft across his chin when the seeker chuckled. "This time, try not to head-butt the wall."

Megatron made a noise of annoyance but dipped his chin, missing Starscream's lips by only the barest centimetre. Their noses bumped clumsily as they realigned and came together. Megatron lifted a hand and stroked cool smooth metal.

"You're fondling the wall," Starscream murmured against his mouth, and flicked a wing to draw Megatron's attention to where it actually was.

Megatron clamped his hand around it so he wouldn't lose it again and continued with their kiss.

They had some hours to kill before the lights came back on and the elevator would move again. That was plenty of time for him to find the other wing too.


	17. Mistletoe

There was something green growing out of the doorway into the Command Centre.

Starscream stood under it and scowled. Leaves stuck out around three tiny red berries, and though Starscream wasn't exactly familiar with this particular species of plant, he found it unlikely that any Earth foliage could grow out of three inches of steel bulkhead, or that it's roots appeared to be made out of duct-tape...

He was so busy glowering at it hatefully that he didn't notice Thundercracker's approach until he heard his trine-mate exhale deeply next to him. "Mistletoe."

"What?" Starscream snarled, snapping his head to him.

"Mistletoe," Thundercracker repeated, extending a finger and pointing to the plant. Starscream looked back up to scowl at it, and in his moment of distraction, Thundercracker leaned in and kissed his cheek

Starscream veered back with a disgusted noise, but Thundercracker was already meandering past him into the Command Centre like he'd done nothing out of the ordinary. Starscream grumpily wiped his cheek, ridding it of any disgusting contaminates.

"That's assault!" He yelled after him. "I'm putting that on your record!"

Thundercracker didn't appear to care.

Starscream went back to glaring at the plant. Mistletoe- where had he heard that name before? He had spent a fair amount of time researching the most poisonous plants on this planet when they had first arrived -in hopes at least one or two would have some effect on Cybertronians- and why even bother transporting a tiny sprig of leaves all the way down here if not to kill someone?

He spent far too much time contemplating this, as Ramjet arrived down the corridor next. Starscream spared him a hateful glance when the other jet paused next to him.

"That mistletoe?" The Conehead grunted.

"Yes," Starscream hissed, "Not that I know-"

Ramjet's hand cupped the side of his face and tugged him close enough to plant another unwanted kiss on the side of his head. Starscream spluttered, flailing his arms around. "What the-!?"

Ramjet released him and moved on, joining the others in the Command Centre and shaking his head at Starscream as he went.

"You're starting to look desperate, Commander." He called over a wing

Desperate?! Starscream scoffed. _He_ wasn't the one going around kissing anyone who stood still long enough.

What was _wrong_ with everyone today?

* * *

"Starscream was stood under that mistletoe for an hour this morning," Thundercracker murmured, head low and tone quiet. "I feel sorry for him."

"What a loser." Skywarp grunted. "Did _anyone_ kiss him?"

"Yes!" Thundercracker exclaimed, the horrors of the day reflected in his optics. "_Everyone_ did. I did, Ramjet did, Motormaster pinned him against the wall and-"

Skywarp waved a hand to stop him, "Oh yeah," he snorted. "I heard the shrieking from the cargo bay. Was wondering what that was..."

"I think he was waiting for someone," Thundercracker stroked an imaginary beard as he thought back on the days events.

"Who put it up there anyway?" Skywarp mumbled.

Thundercracker blinked, "You mean ...it wasn't you?"

"No," Skywarp frowned, "You think I would gone through all the trouble of finding that green gunk only not to stick around to see what happened?"

"Well, If _you_ didn't stick it up there," Thundercracker leant back with his arms folded, frowning. "Who did?"

* * *

Starscream stood under the mistletoe on the second day and scowled at it. When he found whoever had stuck it up there, there would be **consequences**.

He heard someone approaching the Command Centre from behind pause.

"Hey," Scrapper murmured, "Ain't that mistle-"

"Keep walking!" Starscream turned to snarl at him.

Appropriately cowed, the Constructicon did, ducking his head and hunching his shoulders up to his audials defensively at the rejection, but Starscream didn't care for any hurt feelings today. He'd been kissed by _enough_ of his dirty low-caste comrades, and after enduring the experience of Vortex's tongue in his mouth yesterday, he'd sworn to himself he'd suffer no more. He'd shoot the next exhaust-face who tried.

And he was going to get to the bottom of whose idea of a joke this was!

"Generally, when someone stands under the mistletoe, they're waiting to be kissed," a warm voice spoke behind him.

Murderous thoughts forgotten, Starscream whipped around and found Megatron leaning against the bulkhead behind him, one brow arched in amusement. Starscream scowled, "That's _not_ what I'm doing." He sniffed.

"You've been blocking the doorway for the past hour," Megatron reminded him.

"Does that mean you've been _watching me on the cameras_ for the past hour?" Starscream placed a hand on his hip and cocked it.

Megatron shrugged and pushed away from the wall, neglecting to answer. He approached and soon joined Starscream under the stupid piece of foliage.

"It's bad luck, not to kiss under this," he murmured, lifting an arm to brush a finger against the soft leaves.

Starscream tipped his chin up and huffed. "I'm not as superstitious as you."

"Then you'll humour me," Megatron bent down, closing in.

Starscream stood his ground, dimming his optics contemplatively when Megatron tipped his head and moved in to kiss his cheek.

Lips barely grazed the metal of his facial derma when Starscream decided to throw caution into the wing and seize his chance, turning his head at the very last second so Megaton would catch his lips instead. He felt Megatron's surprise at the bold move in the way his larger frame locked up, a puff of warm air escaping his vents like a little gasp.

Starscream pulled back and danced out of reach before the warlord could recover, his lips tingling and wings shaking all the way up to their tips. Megatron's dumbfounded expression was certainly a picture.

Suffering twenty-something unwanted kisses was almost worth it for the one he had truly wanted.

It wasn't until the mischievous seeker had long vanished from the corridor that Megatron finally looked away from the spot where he had vanished to glance up at the mistletoe. He smiled and reached out to pull it down now that it had fulfilled it's purpose.

Still, he tucked it away into his subspace. There would always be other places to hang it.

Perhaps over Starscream's seat in the war chamber. That would certainly liven up their meetings.


	18. Cougar

A glimmer of red and white against rusted, dull metal caught Megatron's optic on the walk out of the bloodstained arena. His gaze snapped up, drawn to the figure, and a dark face smirked back at him coyly.

Megatron had grown used to his hoards of attractive admirers now though, and thought little of it. Until one of the arena runners caught him outside the wash-racks with an ominous summons to the Royal Box.

It appeared he'd caught the attention of one of the arena's wealthier patrons.

Clench always liked to impress upon his gladiators that the 'enjoyment' of the fans came first and foremost- especially those wealthier visitors- and that they were to do everything in their power to add to the 'Low Caste Kaonite' experience. Because it wasn't enough that they bled for the entertainment of the masses, they had to overload for some too.

Megatron had been fortunate in that he had so far managed to avoid that aspect of the job.

He'd been on borrowed time. Now his number was finally up.

Begrudgingly, he traipsed his way up the winding metal staircase to where the Royal Box was located at the top of the arena. Two seekers were loitering outside the curtained doorway, talking among themselves. They stopped when they saw him, their brows cocking judgmentally.

Megatron glared and ducked his head, uncomfortable with their attention, but marched on through anyway, shouldering through the long, heavy curtains that made the box on the other side private enough to go undisturbed.

He stepped out into the closest thing to pass for luxury on this side of Kaon. There was a hover-table set out with energon treats and wine against a wall, and two plush armchairs facing into the arena in front. More seating was set out around the edges of the box, and even from Megatron's position just inside the doorway he could tell the coveted spot gave the occupants of the box the most spectacular of views of the fights occurring below. And all out of reach of the blood splatter too.

But none of the fancy furnishings or decadent extras compared to the seeker currently lounging in one of the armchairs, waiting for him.

Claws fingers covered a smirking mouth, and the optics that studied Megatron burned with an experienced sort of smoulder. Megatron lifted his chin proudly and did his best to hide his bracing swallow.

The claws fell away from a pretty mouth to rest against the armrest, and Megatron now had a full view of the seeker's handsome face.

"Megatron, isn't it?" The seeker purred, his voice hoarse and raspy with age.

"Megatron of Tarn," Megatron cleared his vocaliser gruffly, grasping for some sense of formality, regardless of what he had been called here to do.

Claws tapped the armrest. "Megatron of Tarn," the seeker corrected cooly. "A pleasure."

He lifted an elegant hand and gestured for Megatron to join him in the next seat. Unsure of how these things went, Megatron reluctantly joined him, feeling big and cumbersome and uncultured when he thumped into the seat next to the elegant older aristocrat.

"Starscream," the seeker extended his hand towards him, wrist limp.

Megatron stared at it, unsure what to do. Starscream wasn't offering a handshake...

"You kiss it," Starscream explained with a smirk, wriggling his fingers. "Like a gentlemech."

Megatron took his hand -small and fine and so glossy Megatron could almost see his own reflection in it- and lifted it to his mouth. He pressed a quick, chaise kiss to the back of the warm hand, his lips leaving the smallest smudge and his breath fogging the armour. He lifted his thumb and tired to rub the imperfection away, but only smeared it further.

"It's fine," Starscream said warmly, drawing his hand away. "Part of the fun in wearing this much polish is getting to mess it up again."

Having never worn polish himself, Megatron wouldn't know. He said nothing.

"You're looking rather tense, Megatron of Tarn," Starscream leant back and crossed one long leg atop the other. Megatron's optics were drawn to the movement. "Don't worry, I don't bite."

Megatron glanced at those claws resting on the armrest again. It wasn't _biting_ he was worried about.

"I gather I was called up here for a purpose?" Megatron pressed, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. He wasn't going to let _this_ rich seeker play with his food.

"Oh yes, you're right!" Starscream snapped his fingers and sat up, "I didn't call you up here just for your good looks, you know."

Megatron felt heat blood across his cheeks. Gladiators weren't often commended on their good looks. A life spent taking punches and axes to the face didn't suit aspirating supermodels. He grunted, gripping the armrests of his chair tightly. Starscream's fancy seat creaked when he pulled himself forward, leaning conspiratorially close, his handsome optics flicking to the side to keep an eye on the curtains.

"I have a job for you," he whispered.

Megatron tightened his jaw and nodded stiffly. "You don't need to be so cautious. Clench is more than happy to allow this sort of thing."

Starscream's optics widened in momentary surprise, before dimming in understanding. "Oh, somehow I don't think he'll be 'happy' to hear his gladiators were staging a coup."

It took a moment to process. Megatron reset his optics and leant forward in his seat, matching Starscream's position. "A coup?" He hissed. "Who is staging a _coup_?!"

"You are," Starscream fluttered his handsome wings. Megatron's optics were drawn to the mesmerising way they caught the light. "Hopefully. If all goes to plan that is. Don't you tire of Clench's treatment?"

"I -" Megatron leant back and tugged at his clavicle seam with a finger, his battle armour starting to feel tight across his shoulders and restrictive around the throat. "Clench has done much to-"

"-Mistreat you," Starscream interrupted. "You're nothing but tools to him. You already knew that though, didn't you? You're far too clever to be swinging swords around for the entertainment of drunk miners, Megatron of Tarn, and much too ambitious to find any satisfaction in taking the orders of a mech like _Clench_."

Megatron's frown deepened at his words. Starscream was looking at him like he was the large platter of energon treats behind them, like he wanted to eat him up.

(And far from what Megatron would ever have expected from a selfish, apathetic aristocrat, Megatron really wouldn't mind if he did.)

Still, he had his principles. As much as he detested Clench and his style of 'management', he was no usurper. He faced his opponents fair and square, whether they were in an arena or not.

"Best of luck with your coup," he growled.

Starscream didn't appear to look too upset with his rejection. He waved a flippant hand, "I see you won't be swayed," he sighed. "You're rather principled for such a young mech, aren't you?"

Megatron sniffed, "Did you lose your principles with age?"

Starscream laughed airily. "Oh Megatron," he purred, optics sharp crimson lines against his dark face. "I never had those to begin with."

Megatron turned to leave, his hand only managing to brush the curtain when he heard the seeker behind him clear his vocaliser. He paused, cursed internally, and looked over a massive shoulder to glance back at him.

Starscream wagged a clawed finger, beckoning him back. "I believe I paid for the hour."

Disappointment swooped through Megatron's tanks. "And here I thought you were better than that."

"Better? Yes. More virtuous? Not exactly," Starscream shrugged his wings and shoulders both. He patted the seat on the armchair next to him. "But Relax. You're a little ..._young_ for me anyway."

Megatron sank back into the armchair next to him. "I'm far from young," he grumped.

Starscream scoffed and reached across the chairs to ghost an hand over Megatron's forearm. "To me, _everyone's_ young."


	19. Vibrators

Starscream used the berth's headboard as leverage and pushed back into Megatron's final thrusts, shuttering his optics and shuddering at the warm ripple of pleasure that curled up his spine from his clenching valve. Megatron's hands held his hips steady as he circled against him, grinding his spike deep as he began to overload. Starscream tipped his head back to watch him lazily, spine curved and thighs splayed. Megatron's head bowed towards his shoulders, his thighs shaking and hips twitching in time to the waves of pleasure wracking his frame.

Eventually, hands relaxed on Starscream's hips and began to stroke them, a warm palm sweeping around to give his cockpit a fond stroke. Starscream writhed in languid delight when he felt Megatron kiss and nuzzle the back of his neck.

"We've going to be late," he purred, glancing at his chrono and realising they were only five minutes away from Soundwave barring them from their own war council. Their penchant for mid-day frags were getting in the way of the Third In Command's tight schedule, and Soundwave would much rather Megatron not be there at all, than walk in ten minutes late with a wonky codpiece and have to be caught up.

Megatron huffed, "So we are."

Starscream leant forward and shuddered when Megatron pulled out of him. The callipers of his valve were weak and wrecked from the repeated pummelling of Megatron's spike against them and he felt them fail a cycle closed again.

He flopped onto his back on the berth and lifted a leg to inspect himself, grimacing at the mess his leader had made of him. He grabbed a handful of Megatron's berth covers to clean up with, begrudgingly accepting that the problem would simply have to fix itself in time. The callipers would realign and tighten before the end of the cycle. It was just a shame things no longer sprung back like they had once, when he'd been young.

He was about the seal his panel and rise, as ready as he'd ever be to limp down to the war chambers, when Megatron grabbed his ankle and kept his legs open.

Starscream paused, watching the dark, contemplative optics track over the array between his legs. A hand extended and began to touch him again, ghosting over the sensors on his inners thighs before brushing flushed, swollen, achy mesh. A finger stroked around the gaping rim.

"Admiring your handy work?" Starscream guessed.

"I rather like you like this," Megatron admitted, "All used up and ruined. A shame I don't have time to enjoy you more like this."

"You'll be able to do this to me all over again tonight," Starscream promised, wriggling the foot in Megatron's fist. "Let go now. The war council-"

"Can wait a moment longer," Megatron reached into his subspace. "I have something for you."

Starscream sat up eagerly, expecting jewels and treasures, "Why _Megatron_," he cooed. "You _shouldn't_ have."

Megatron brought his fist up and opened it. Across his palm sat a smooth phallic device, about half the length of Megatron's own spike but still an impressive size of its own. It had a bulbous tip and boasted a wide girth.

Starscream blinked. "...You _really_ shouldn't have."

"This should keep you nice and ready for me," Megatron smirked, and without ceremony, knocked Starscream onto his back, grabbed him behind the knees, pushed his legs up to his chest, and slipped the false spike into his valve.

"Oh-!"

After taking Megatron's spike it sank into his valve easily, but Starscream still yelped and flinched at the unexpected sensation. It was cold and stiff and when his abused callipers cycled down on it weakly, there was no give to it like there would have been with a real spike. He squirmed. Megatron shut his panel, sealing it in.

He stood from the berth and extended a hand to Starscream. "Shall we?"

Starscream tested the feel of it inside him, shuddering when clenching down stimulated half-aroused sensors. Awkwardly, he sat up and took Megatron's hand, and winced when his legs took his own weight. He could feel the spike inside him, holding him open, pressing up against nodes and rubbing along the delicate mesh walls as even the tiniest of movements shifted it inside him. He cupped a hand to his panel to keep it closed.

Megatron was watching him, waiting for the verdict.

Starscream squinted at him, "Have you always been this kinky?"

"I like to think it's a trait you bring out in me," Megatron opened the door for him and gestured for him to walk through first.

They made it to the war chambers just in time, which was a miracle in itself considering how much of a struggle it had been for Starscream to walk with any sense of haste, having to stop and grip the bulkhead and moan every few steps. Megatron had ushered him along gently, stroking sensitive wings and murmuring promises into his audials.

Soundwave levelled them both with condemning looks when they traipsed inside, Starscream keeping his head low to hide his blush and the dimness of his optics. He took his usual seat beside Megatron, lowering himself into it gingerly, wincing when the angle pressed the false spike deeper into his valve to nudge at ceiling nodes. He shuttered his optics so the whole room wouldn't see them cross and flicker with pleasure.

Thankfully, Soundwave paid little attention to him and the meeting began. Starscream adjusted himself into the least awkward position he could manage, and almost began to relax.

As Soundwave spoke Megatron reached into his subspace again and removed something else. Starscream's optics widened in dread when he saw what it was he held; a remote. Megatron didn't look at Starscream. His gaze was focused on Soundwave who was droning on about statistics, but his thumb was sliding across the buttons teasingly. Starscream knew it was the remote for the false spike sitting in his valve.

Megatron smirked. And clicked a button.

The spike buzzed, and it's gentle but constant shuddering sensation travelled through Starscream's valve. He tensed and hissed through his teeth. Motormaster glanced his way. Starscream schooled his features and gripped the table, oil pressure rising with the effort it took not to moan like a tramp in front of the entire Decepticon high command.

Megatron pressed another button.

The vibration was much stronger this time, and the vigorous buzz sent of shock of sensation through Starscream's frame. His leg flicked out and he convulsed, drawing the optics of a good half of the table.

Megatron didn't even look at him, to all appearances his attention completely fixed on Soundwave's presentation, all while his thumb chose between alternating levels of strength. He hit the third button down on the remote and Starscream punched the table when pleasure zapped his nodes and crashed through his struts. He saw white. His hips jumped forwards and his helm flew back so he could shout at the ceiling, "Oh _Primus_, **_yes_**-!"

"Starscream."

Soundwave's visor was directed right at him.

That was certainly one way to kill someone's libido. Starscream twitched and winced as the vibrator continued to buzz away inside him torturously.

"Ah, con-continue, Soundw_ahh_-ave!"

Megatron's hand was covering his mouth to hide his smirk. Aft-head.

"Starscream; needs to be excused," Soundwave prompted.

Megatron turned up the power again just as Starscream opened his mouth to respond. "That w-_wohh_-_oh_\- would be best!" He yelled, standing abruptly, his thighs pressed tightly together.

He began to walk with as much dignity as he could muster with Megatron still playing with the remote, trying to make him stumble and trip on the way out. When Starscream reached the door he heard another chair scrape and looked back to find Megatron rising.

"Send me the notes," he told Soundwave, which proved he had never been interested in this war council in the first place.

Starscream seethed and stormed out the door, but he didn't get far down the corridor before the vibrator in his valve buzzed again and had him stumbling against the wall. Megatron caught up to him and grabbed him about the waist, tugging him back against him. Starscream fell against his chest with a moan, feeling Megatron's massive hand dip down to cup his aching groin.

"You're leaking through your panel," he purred, stroking the seams and spreading the escaping lubricants. "You left a trail of this on your seat."

Starscream's flush darkened. "Get it out of me!" He whined.

"Can't wait till we're back in my quarters?"

"No!" Starscream cried, clutching his wrist. "Just do it now. Here!"

Megatron flipped him around and pressed him to the wall, and Starscream couldn't give a damn that they were in the middle of a high traffic corridor and he was about to get spiked in full view of the security camera right above them. Megatron thumbed his panel open and with some skilled fingering, prised the vibrator pose. It had still been active inside him, and it tickled the rim of his valve when it passed through.

Starscream didn't get much time to recover in it's absence before Megatron's spike was refilling the space it had previously occupied, and Starscream was arching and gasping and singing as his leader fragged him right outside the doors to the war chamber.

They weren't sound proofed, but at this point? What was the use in hiding it anyway?


	20. Working At The Tank Wash

Starscream surveyed Megatron's rumbling, mud-splattered alt-mode from the ship's boarding ramp, and tutted. "You're not getting on looking like _that_."

Megatron's engines revved and he lurched forward on mud-caked tracks. Starscream didn't move from his position blocking entry to the ship, his hands planted on his hips, his pedes shoulder-width apart. If Megatron wanted to get past, he'd have to run him down.

The main gun of the tank cranked higher to point at him, and Megatron revved again. Starscream's determination wavered. He wouldn't actually-?

"Starscream!" Megatron bellowed, voice twice as metallic and distant from where it was being projected from the depths of his alt-mode. "Move aside or be _run down._"

"You're filthy!" Starscream protested. "I can't possibly let you onboard. You'd be violating Shockwave's quarantine regulations."

"You don't give a slag about those regulations," the armour plating on the tank seemed to hackle.

"I do when it's not _me_ they're inconveniencing," Starscream smirked, and shooed Megatron back with a little wave when tank tracks creaked at the bottom of the landing ramp. "Get off! You're getting mud on everything!"

"And how the Pit do you imagine I'll be able to get rid of this filth if you won't allow me access to the wash-racks!" Megatron thundered from the bottom of the ramp.

"At least transform!" Starscream sneered, grimacing at Megatron's track links and imagining the thick, dark tracks of mud they would leave everywhere. The earth around the ship was sodden from recent rainfall, and Megatron's tracks made sickening squelching noises as they churned the ground beneath them into mud.

"Transform? And spread the filth to my internals so I can spend the next month picking pieces of earth out of my seams?!" Megatron scoffed.

Starscream wasn't feeling particularly sympathetic. "If you'd stuck to the roads-"

"I am an _all-terrain_ vehicle! Using roads is an insult to my alt-mode!" Megatron yelled, his turret turning to swing his main gun from side-to-side angrily.

Starscream sighed dramatically, "Suit yourself. I guess we'll just have to leave you behind-"

"You do it," Megatron growled.

"What? Do what?!" Starscream optics brightened with fear.

"Clean me."

Starscream took one look at the mud and shuddered in revulsion. It was _everywhere_. In his tracks, dripping from his undercarriage, trapped in armour seams, splattered across his hull. "I can't do that!"

"Of course you can. Those slender high-caste claws of yours will be perfect for those _hard to reach_ places."

Starscream lifted his hands and cursed. They _were_ perfect. In too many ways.

"Fine," he snarled. "I'll get a _bucket_."

"How dignified," Megatron muttered at the bottom of the ramp.

"I'm only following orders, Megatron," Starscream sneered from the top.

* * *

Starscream gingerly stepped down from the landing ramp and cringed when he felt his thruster heel sink an inch into the mud. "Ugh-!"

"Stop whinging and get over here," Megatron called, his engine still rumbling away.

"Yes, _Mighty_ Megatron," Starscream mocked, swinging his bucket of lukewarm solvent and tossing a cleaning rag across his shoulder. He felt like one of those Praxian spa drones that pampered rich tourists. (Him having been one of them, once upon a time. How far he had fallen.)

He dropped the bucket with a dull thunk atop Megatron's muddy turret hatch and dunked the rag into it, squeezing out the excess solvent and slapping it roughly against the barrel of Megatron's main gun. The mud splatter had dried in places, which meant he had to scrub. Hard. He grabbed the barrel of the gun with his free hand to hold it steady and braced a knee on the armoured skirt that protected Megatron's tracks. Gritting his denta he stroked back and forth, back and forth. The rumble of Megatron's engines grew to an unbearable roar.

"What are you doing?!" Starscream smacked him with the wash cloth again, having had enough of the constant thrumming.

"...You missed a spot," Megatron murmured.

Starscream frowned, "Where?"

"Underneath," Megatron's main gun cranked higher to expose the neglected area.

Starscream huffed and ducked under the main gun, squatting in front of the hull and using both hands to get at the hard to reach places between it and the turret. Megatron rolled forwards on his tracks towards him and Starscream leant back to avoid and overbalanced. He clutched desperately at the gun to stop himself falling aft first into the mud. "Megatron!"

"An accident," Megatron explained.

"Your brakes are faulty," Starscream hissed, dunking the rag back into the bucket. "Hold still, I need to do your roof..."

He braced a knee against the skirt again and stretched his frame across Megatron's to reach the top of the turret, sweeping an arm out in a wide arch and then bringing the cloth back in circles. It was rather satisfying to watch the mud give way to glimmering armour. Starscream often forgot that Megatron's paint was actually silver, and not discoloured grey.

He couldn't quite reach the other side of the turret hatch so he braced his hands and hoisted himself up _onto_ Megatron so he could splay himself awkwardly across the hull. He heard Megatron grunt and frowned. He wasn't _that_ heavy.

He scrubbed into every seam and gap, giving Megatron as thorough a clean as he would have given himself. When he was done he slid carefully down off the large tank, and surveyed his handy work with hands on his hips.

Megatron glimmered before him like a new mech. He nodded in satisfaction, trying not to think about how quickly the careless thug would be dirty again.

"You're good to transform," he muttered, picking up his bucket and tossing his rag into the muddy water.

Megatron didn't move.

"I thought you wanted to come in?" Starscream set the bucket on his hip and struck an impatient pose.

"Perhaps ...in a moment," Megatron said, sounding a little strangled.

Starscream rolled his optics.

"Some thanks I get," He muttered, twisting around and swinging his bucket so the muddy water sloshed across the landing ramp anyway. Megatron _knew_ the devious snake hadn't cared about cleanliness.

Still, Megatron waited until Starscream was safely within the ship before transforming with a groan, being careful not to catch anything _delicate_ and _erect_ when his armour flipped and shifted around. He rose to his full height and took an awkward step forward, a hand clutching at the tight codpiece that was threatening to pop open.

Fragging Starscream. Who the Pit climbed _on top_ of someone to clean them anyway?!


	21. Spanking

The problem with Starscream's deplorable behaviour is that he _wanted_ to be punished. Megatron had suffered his tantrums and treachery for thousands of years before finally becoming enlightened to the fact, but he was too set in his ways now, and Starscream too well versed in getting on every last one of his nerves.

When he heard news of a fire in one of the lower deck's armouries, he knew exactly who the arsonist would have been.

He walked into the wrecked armoury to take in the damage. Starscream stood tall in the centre of the room, patches of oil still burning around him. The flamethrower he had pierced was buried under a mountain of fire resistant foam in the corner, but the room in it's entirety was a burnt out husk. Wires behind the wall paneling were still blowing and zapping from the residual heat as plastic melted away from copper. Starscream lifted his chin.

"Why?" Megatron said, though he knew there was no reason, no sense to these actions.

"You know why," Starscream hissed, probably only because he himself didn't know. Starscream chased down his impulses without a thought for what caused them. He wanted attention. And the best way to get it was destruction.

Megatron should really stop giving it to him, but the alternative? Let him get away with destroying an entire armoury? Let him get away with starting a fire that could have engulfed the _entire ship_?

He rocked back onto his heels, taking Starscream's challenging scowl in. There was no regret there. Only stubbornness.

"What am I going to do with you?" He murmured. His soft, quiet tone held more of a threat than any harsh, roaring snarl.

Like a sixth sense, Starscream knew it. His chin dipped and he turned his gaze to his own feet, wings flicking then lowering. He stole a glance at Megatron's face.

Megatron pointed to the ground at his feet. "Here."

Starscream grimaced, "I'm not some pet-"

"_Now_."

Starscream shuffled closer, his head lifting and dropping like he couldn't decide between meekness or defiance. When he was within arms reach he opened his poisonous little mouth, "It wasn't a _deliberate_-"

Megatron would hear no more lies out of him.

His hand shot out and seized Starscream's wrist. Starscream squealed and tired to yank himself free, twisting to loosen his grip. Megatron used a free hand to grab a wing instead, and Starscream crumpled under his grasp with a frightened noise.

"No, Megatron don't!" He protested, leaning closer to Megatron just to lessen the strain on his wing hinges. The delicate appendage was often Starscream's downfall. It was a wonder why he spent so much time fluttering and flicking them, when all it did was remind Megatron of how very sensitive they were.

He steered him using the wing, forcing Starscream out in front. Starscream stumbled out into the corridor ahead of him, trying to turn to face Megatron and throw himself at him, to mumble apologies and pleas to try and get himself out of trouble again. Megatron didn't let him, holding him at bay with the wing and steering Starscream all the way through the ship to the throne room.

He pushed Starscream up the stairs towards the throne then swung him around and took the seat for himself. Starscream watched awkwardly over his shoulder, EM field shuddering with nervous energy.

Megatron released his wing and shifted his grip to grab both of Starscream's slender wrists. Starscream fought against him briefly, but it was futile, and Megatron easy pulled Starscream's arms behind his back and transferred both wrists into one massive hand, pinning them to the small of his back. He tugged Starscream again so the seeker overbalance and fell into his lap.

Starscream wobbled but managed to balance himself on Megatron's thigh side-saddle. He offered him a meek, hopeful smile.

"Let me apologise," he said, voice oily and smooth, still tugging at the grip Megatron had on his wrists. He wouldn't be able to seduce Megatron half as effectively without those damnably soft touches of his. He leaned in, his nose an inch from Megatron's, and whispered, "You know I'm good at it."

Megatron snorted. Starscream's smouldering optics widened with shock. "Wha-?"

Megatron shoved him so he fell off his knee and landed across his other thigh, sliding down so his helm was near-brushing the floor and his aft stuck up in the air. With hands still pinned to his back he was unable to right himself. The was a moment of shocked stillness, then Starscream thrashed.

"No!" He howled. "I just polished-!"

_Smack_. Megatron's hand landed across the upturned curve of Starscream's glossy red aft. The impact plugged the seeker's vocaliser and nothing but a helpless wheeze came out. Megatron paused, waiting.

"..._Ow!_" Starscream managed eventually.

Megatron stroked the armour fondly, assessing the scuff mark he'd put across his aft with his strike. "Don't squirm."

"Don't squirm?!" Starscream repeated indignantly, "_You_ sit still when there's a _maniac_ smacking you across the aft-ahh!"

A cry burst from Starscream as he was dealt another smack. This one harder. His wings shot up on his back and Megatron bent his knee downwards to tip Starscream over further, so that his third smack landed on the sensitive lower curve of his aft. Starscream howled, his hands twisting and tugging in Megatron's grip.

"Ow, ow, _ow_!"

"I thought you liked being spanked," Megatron teased mildly, thoroughly enjoying himself now.

"Not like this!" Starscream snarled. "And not when you're messing up my _paint_!"

"Your paint looks better like this," Megatron growled, and dealt three more smacks in quick succession. Starscream lurched under every blow dealt, making soft, shocked noises, surprised by them every time.

"Megatron!" he wailed, kicking his feet, "I said I was sorry!"

"You did not," Megatron slapped him again.

"I'm sorry!" Starscream burst out. "I'm saying sorry! I'm sorry! Let me up!"

"I don't think you mean it," Megatron murmured, lifting his hand up high, high enough that Starscream would see it in his peripheral vision. He brought it down, fast and firm-

"No! Primus-no!" Starscream screamed, his feet kicking against the floor.

Megatron halted his swing an inch from his aft, pausing. Starscream breathed sharply, his vents fast and shallow like a frightened bird. Megatron placed his hand on the warm armour gently and rubbed it. He felt Starscream exhale in relief and start to relax across his knee.

But just to make a point-

Megatron lifted his hand and slapped it to his aft again. Starscream yelled and hissed. "Oh for-!"

"I think you've had enough," Megatron interrupted before Starscream could open his mouth and get himself into even more trouble. He relaxed his grip on the wrists he held and Starscream slipped his hands free. He hastily brought them to his front and pushed against Megatron's thigh to right himself. He winced as he stood, hand flying back to massage his abused backside.

Seeker still foolishly within his grasp, Megatron took Starscream's hips and turned him around so he was facing away from him. To his surprise Starscream complied with minimal grumbling, letting him take a good look at the result of his punishment. The armour was scuffed but not dented. Starscream could be such a drama queen at times.

He gave Starscream's sore aft a fond pat, and Starscream growled and flicked his wings.

"You'll need a repaint," Megatron murmured.

"No kidding," Starscream looked furious.

Megatron kept his gaze and leant forward, pressing a kiss to the small of Starscream's back, just above where white armour met red. Starscream's glare softened, but he still wasn't happy.

"Repair the armoury," Megatron ordered, letting his hands drop away from Starscream's hips. "Or I'll be calling you back here to compete your punishment."

To his regret, a smirk spread across Starscream's mouth. "Oh, I'll make sure it's as good as knew, my Lord," he purred prettily.

His usual saunter was hindered by his aching aft when he left. Megatron watched him limp awkwardly from the room, and couldn't help but wonder if he'd just made Starscream even _more_ incorrigible than he had been before.


	22. Tame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This drabble collection had a sad lack of bayverse in it, so here you go!

Death did strange things to a mech, Starscream supposed.

Megatron had come crashing back into his life aboard the wreck of the Nemesis mere hours ago, rusted and deranged, still stinking of ozone and seawater, barnacles stuck to his armour and long slick stripes of auburn coloured foliage trapped between his seams. He had come charging in like a spiky bulldozer armed with claws and teeth, showing no regard for the ship, or Starscream, or the helpless hatchlings still incubating in their gestation pods.

After their initial _reunion_, Starscream had wisely tucked himself into a safe spot from which to watch his deranged leader pace and snarl and mutter to himself, kicking out at equipment and roaring at inanimate objects. Some sort of madness had taken root. Was it the Allspark shard that had been used to resurrect him, overloading his circuits? Had it been death in itself that had driven him off the edge?

Or perhaps those centuries spent under the ice? Aware but incapable. It was enough to torment even the strongest of minds.

Begrudgingly sympathetic, Starscream stepped out of his hiding place.

Megatron's jagged face snapped in his direction at the movement, his optics glowing crimson in the blue-tinged dark. Starscream froze with one leg extended, hoovering a half inch from the ground where he had been about to take his second step. Slowly he drew it back. Megatron's armour clicked and hissed as it shifted and resettled across his protoform, hackles ready to rise.

"My Lord?" Starscream called cautiously, tucking his wings back to keep them safe. Megatron's olfactory vents flared when he exhaled with a harsh huff, producing a wispy cloud of steam and stirring up dust.

Starscream fidgeted, threading his claws together nervously at his front. "...Megatron?"

A growl this time, deep and threatening. Megatron's shoulders seemed to rise.

Sensing that he was less than five seconds away from being body-slammed against a bulkhead and monologued at senselessly for the second time in one day, Starscream _chirped_ -a pathetic, instinctive vocalisation born of both fear and desperation. It was a noise the emerged hatchlings would make at him when they desired fuel or reassurance, one that his protocols felt compelled to respond to. If Megatron's processor was indeed corrupted, perhaps only the most basic of Cybertronian communication would be of use.

It did seem to work. Megatron made no answering noise of aggression. He was still and tense, stood contorted defensively out in the open of the room, watching as Starscream cautiously slinked out from his hiding place. Starscream moved further out of the shadows, and whistled at Megatron this time.

His spark jumped into his throat when Megatron began walking right at him. With a squeak of fright he backtracked, stumbling back into his tight space. But Megatron didn't lash out or try to throttle him or throw him across the room. He simply stood over him, looming and breathing and still reeking of that putrid ocean water.

Starscream shrank in his shadow. Megatron stared, gaze harsh and expectant. He dipped his head. Starscream veered back instinctively. Megatron's optics darkened.

"I-" Starscream paused, and though unsure, chirped out a pleasant, soothing note. Megatron's optics softened again. This time when he leaned in, Starscream didn't flinch back.

Well, at least no one was getting strangled...

"You're not well," Starscream whispered, lifting a taloned hand to the side of Megatron's battered head. "Here-"

His fingers brushed facial derma but Megatron turned his head away, bearing his denta. Starscream cooed gently to coax him, taking his big face between his hands anyway.

To Starscream's relief, Megatron's resistance was only cursory, and he let Starscream guide his head down to rest against his shoulder. Starscream felt him exhale in a rush of hot humid air, and began to pet the back of his head indulgently as he waited for the larger mech to calm down, plucking a slimy piece of seaweed from the back of his neck and flicking it away.

His grooming seemed to soften Megatron further. The larger mech leaned his weight forwards, and Starscream had to adjust the angle of his wings to keep his balance.

"_Starscream_," Megatron drawled, sounding somewhere between drunk and confused.

Starscream purred at the sound of his designation emerging from Megatron's rasping vocaliser. He rubbed his head against Megatron's and was relieved when he heard his leader's answering rumble of acceptance, a vibration that started low in his chest and shuddered up through his chassis.

Megatron's arms came around Starscream's middle and settled about him in a loose, but meaningful embrace. His nose tucked itself between Starscream's throat cabling, and it tickled when he exhaled.

Starscream chirped again, and the very last iota of tension seemed to melt from Megatron's frame, leaving a hapless, clingy mountain of armour in a warlord's place.

Starscream nuzzled him again, smiling to himself when Megatron, surprisingly, chirped back.

The beast had been tamed.

For now at least.


	23. Septuplets

Heavy rain pinged off Megatron's armour, the force of the deluge was so great the ground under pede had become sodden, the strange planet's alien surface incapable of absorbing anymore. He turned his head up, blinking acidic rain from his optics to focus on the escape pod sitting nestled between two trees on the hill above. The higher ground lessened the pod's risk of flooding, but Megatron didn't like the look of the dark clouds above. The rain would continue for many hours yet, and though the escape pod was hardy, it would not be immune to the force of a mudslide slamming into the back of it.

Megatron activated his comm, but paused before hailing his stranded companion.

Starscream had evicted him from the cramped little pod not long after their crash landing. Short tempered already thanks to his condition, and patience for Megatron all but exhausted after their frantic escape from their attacked shuttle, he wasn't the most reasonable of mechs at present.

It has all started because the _Nemesis_ -as the Decepticon flagship and therefore biggest target- had been considered too dangerous for Starscream to remain onboard. Megatron had insisted he would be safer on some distant planet, away from the war, or at the very least aboard a less conspicuous ship until a time it wasn't just his own life at risk.

It would have been a foolproof idea, sneaking him off board in a mid-range troop transport-

-had pirates not been waiting to ambush any passersby on their hyper-lane route, whether they be civilian, or Autobot, or Decepticon.

Starting a firefight had been out of the question, but so was letting them board the transport to witness just _who_ was on board and in _what_ state. Megatron had barely had time to bundle Starscream's uncooperative frame into the escape pod and hit the eject button before the first thieving scoundrel had swung a gun around the doorway. The blaster bolt had deflected off the reinforced hull of the pod, and then their ship and the hyper-lane route began to shrink into the distance as their pod jetted into space.

Only for the strange green planet to grow in their viewports.

"Starscream," Megatron bit the bullet and hailed him. "The ground here is unstable. We need to relocate."

His answer was a stubborn beat of static. Then silence.

Megatron inhaled deeply and braced himself. He would much rather be facing eternity in a Mobius Generator than have to go up there make this situation any worse for his suffering second.

He began to climb the steep hill, grasping at tree trucks and large protruding rocks to help himself up the slick ground. The mud beneath his pedes was sliding out from under him with every step, making traction difficult. They didn't have much time.

"Starscream," he called into the doorway of the pod. The hatch -after being dented in the crash and torn off it's hinges to free them- had been propped up in front of the doorway to keep out the elements. Inside it was dark, and all Megatron could see were a pair of bright red optics staring back at him through the gap.

They were too small and wide to be Starscream's.

Megatron bent by the hatch and slipped a digit into the gap between the hatch and the rim of the doorway, wriggling it. He felt a tiny clawed hand grasp it with an interested noise and felt his spark warm. He was about to lean closer and coo indulgently at the little one, when the hatch was suddenly blown open by a furious kick and then Starscream's haggard frame was looming over him, covered in sparklings, half-a-dozen of them dangling from his arms and wings.

Megatron quickly stood, skidding slightly in the mud and clearing his vocaliser, "We need to-"

"I heard you," Starscream hissed, leaning down and scooping the renegade sparkling up. It joined it's siblings clinging to Starscream's shoulder vent. "I simply chose to ignore you, after what your last decision caused-"

Megatron scowled, "I did not _decide_ to crash us into an uninhabited planet."

"No," Starscream took on menacing step out of the escape pod to advance on him, exposing himself to the acidic rain. The sparklings hanging haphazardly off his frame squeaked and chirped at the new, foreign sensation. "But you _were_ the one who decided to flee when you should have fought-"

Megatron's indignity flared. "I wasn't about to start a firefight with a gang of overcharged pirates in the presence of my carrying mate-!"

"And before that!" Starscream's voice raised to a squawk, "When you _decided_ it was safer to relocate me?! And before _that_!" He continued before Megatron could open his mouth. "When you decided _now_, the _height_ of the war, was the _perfect_ time to create your precious heirs!"

Megatron kept his mouth wisely shut, numbly listening to the tune created by the rain pinging off the different thicknesses of armour plating; his and Starscream's and their delicate creations.

"I know this isn't exactly ideal-" he began diplomatically.

"Exactly _ideal_?!" Starscream snarled, looking hysteric. "What about this could _possibly_ be ideal? There is nothing, Megatron, _nothing_ ideal about having to spark _seven_ sparkling in a smashed up escape pod in the middle of nowhere! Nothing _ideal_ about being trapped for _six days_ while we wait for your idiot underlings to locate us in this backwards solar system, all while I'm tired and dirty and stuck in this metal Hell-hole with _these_ seven sociopathic monsters who won't _leave me alone!"_

He shook out his armour to try and dislodge his passengers, but the sparklings held firm, blinking in confusion and readjusting their grip, but very resolutely staying with him.

Megatron glanced around at the continuing rainfall. "Starscream-"

"No!" Starscream sliced his hand through the air. The sparkling that had been clinging to his wrist swung with it. "_No_, I am not going out there. Look at these things. They'll freeze."

"I'll keep them warm," Megatron extended a hand. "We don't have choice."

Starscream's mouth pressed into a hard thin line. He looked back into the interior of the escape pod that had been his shelter for almost a week now, the dark, rundown cramped, leaking lump of materials he had nested his sparklings in. His wings dipped down. The two sparklings that were hanging off the tops of them slid towards the edges precariously, their tiny legs kicking.

Megatron reached out and wrapped a hand around one, but had to give it a little tug to get it to let go of it's creator's wing. Starscream turned back to consider him, looking defeated enough to agree. "Fine," he sniffed, "but _you_ should carry the brats."

"Happy to," Megatron said eagerly, but the task of extracting the little ones from Starscream's person was more of a trial than he had expected. They had grown close to their creator over the past six days, and though they still knew and spent time with Megatron, they had clearly picked their favourite.

"They're horrible," Starscream explained, watching Megatron manage to prise one off Starscream's shoulder only for the two Megatron had nestled in his arms to wriggle free and launch themselves back at their creator.

Megatron gave up, tossing the last one back at Starscream. "It appears they'd rather have you, than me."

"_I'd_ rather there just be me, than you too," Starscream huffed, then scowled when a rather large drop of rain water fell from a tree canopy overhead and landed between his optics. "Cough, fragging-!"

Megatron spied the kicked down hatch and picked it up. He held it up, over Starscream's head, protecting him and the sparklings from most of the rain. Starscream looked up appreciatively.

"Finally," he sighed, starting to walk, forcing Megatron to keep up with him. "You've actually made yourself useful."

Megatron only didn't stick a foot out and trip the seeker up because he was currently holding his seven heirs. But he did tilt the hatch to an angle so all the accumulated rain water tipped over and crashed onto his dark helm.

Starscream howled and cursed. And one-by-one, seven tiny vocalisers copied him.

Megatron scowled. Trapped on a planet with _eight_ Starscream's. How was he going to survive this one?


	24. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last one! And since it's Christmas tomorrow, it's set IDW.

The echoing thrum of thrusters at full burn alerted Megatron to the danger long before the incoming red, white, and blue missile rounded the tight corner. He twisted to face the threat, widening his stance to plant himself and ready battle protocols.

The noise grew to a deafening roar when Starscream's jet-mode came to an abrupt halt as it appeared at the end of the corridor, frame lurching back as thrusters were thrown into reverse and a transformation sequence was started. Armour plating separated and rejoined with fast and brutal clangs and scrapes. Pedes hit the ground running, Starscream's bipedal form sprinting the remaining distance.

Megatron bore his denta and tensed, ready to grapple one of the universe's most notoriously dirty fighters.

Starscream leapt, and Megatron braced for impact, ready for the sting of claws in his most delicate places. He only glimpsed the airborne seeker's intense expression before their armour collided with a deafening clang. Strong arms locked around Megatron's neck, unprotected by battle armour, and the clench of them squeezing around fuel cables coupled with the weight of the sustainable warrior taking him to the ground made him choke. He clapped hands to Starscream's waist and lost his footing, stumbling back three steps before teetering over and crashing to the floor. The remaining wind in his intakes was knocked out of him, and for one spark stopping moment, as Starscream gained the upper hand, he feared for his fate.

He blinked at the ceiling above him, wincing as his neck was squeezed tighter, depriving his muzzy processor of much needed fuel. He was feeling a surprising lack of stabbings...

Frowning, Megatron slid his hands from Starscream's waist to his upper arms, struggling to pull them away to prevent further obstruction of his fuel circulation. "Starscream-?!"

Starscream's head snapped up where it had fallen to his shoulder and their optics met, Starscream's frantic and bright. Megatron blinked, now acutely aware of where Starscream's hands were resting either side of his neck. A warm flush travelled up from the gentle touch to heat his face.

The last he had seen of this pesky seeker had been at his trial, and much had been said. None of it particularly warming. He had assumed that when -no, _if_ they were ever to cross paths again, Starscream's future actions would be in tune with how they had parted ways that day. As enemies.

Quite obviously, things weren't that simple. But with Starscream, nothing ever was.

Effectively laying on top of him, Starscream planted his hands on Megatron's chest to push himself upright, so now he was straddling Megatron's waist. He peered down at his floored former-leader with a quizzed look.

"That Autobot insignia is disgusting," was all he said.

Megatron sat up, suddenly enough that Starscream slipped down and fell into his lap with a little huff. He stared at the seeker. Starscream frowned back, his hands still resting against Megatron's chest.

"You're happy to see me," Megatron realised.

Starscream flinched like he had been struck, and his bottom lip, always set to something of a pout, began to compete with his nose for feature furthest away from face. Megatron struggled to focus his gaze on anything else. Starscream had always had such a shapely mouth...

"What gives you _that_ idea," Starscream said dangerously.

Megatron weighed up the pros of teasing the seeker for having essentially thrown himself into his arms at the very sight of him, verses the cons of Starscream getting his wings in a twist over it and climbing out of his lap. He'd much rather the seeker stay put, regardless of how public their reunion was at risk of being. The Lost Light was a large ship. No one was likely to come across them.

"Don't you have a planet to play at being King of?" Megatron asked gruffly, clawing back some semblance of stoicism.

"That's Emperor Perpetua to _you_, you dirty convict," Starscream muttered, lifting an elegant hand away from Megatron's chest to poke him in the nose. Megatron wrinkled it, and Starscream's optics kept flicking between it and Megatron's gaze. He chewed on his lower lip. "Primus, I haven't missed this scowling face."

Megatron dragged his hands up Starscream's back, watching the way wings rose and fell with every one of Starscream's in-vents. "I feel much the same about those wings of yours."

They perked higher at the mention, and Starscream's distracted lip-chewing became distinctly flirtatious. Megatron leant in and didn't realise how close he'd gotten until he felt the brush of Starscream's nose against the bridge of his own. Starscream began to stroke the back of his neck encouragingly.

"So," he let his claws scratch lightly at the base of Megatron's helmet. "Did they give you a habsuite, or do they lock you away in the brig every night? Make sure can't escape."

"Why would I escape?" Megatron asked seriously, as he had no intention of fleeing punishment. He was a changed mech.

Starscream shrugged lightly, "Oh I don't know, perhaps to come and visit your oldest, dearest friend?"

"Optimus?" Megatron said, just to wind the seeker up.

Starscream's claws threaded between his neck cabling menacingly. "My schedule is _busy,_ Megatron. It took five secretarial drones over eight hours to rearrange my appointments over the next _four years_ to ensure I could be here with you today. So, are you going to waste time teasing me, or are you going to be a gentlemech and give me a _personal_ tour of your Captain Quarters? Because let me assure you, if you don't, Rodimus made me a _very_ promising offer and I am not leaving here and flying all the way back to Cybertron as _unfulfilled_ as I was when I arrived."

Megatron's digits flexed on Starscream's cinched waist, "...Unfulfilled?"

Starscream sat back and folded his arms, "Use your imagination, you old exhaust cloud."

Megatron already was.

He moved to stand up, and Starscream, gracefully, rose out of his lap. Megatron took his hand before he could move further away, pulling him towards him. Starscream looked like he might shy away from the affectionate touch, but Megatron gripped tight, fingers closing around Starscream's nimble digits and squeezing. After a moments pause, he felt Starscream squeeze back, and a thumb rub across the back of Megatron's worn, scratched knuckles.

"My Captain's Quarters are some distance away," he said regrettably, leading Starscream down the hall. "But I know of somewhere equally worth a tour."

"Oh?" Starscream purred, letting his other hand close around Megatron's thick wrist, leaning into his side.

"Ultra Magnus's office," Megatron smirked. "He has a ..._large_, well-organised desk-"

"We'd better take care not to mess things up then," Starscream smirked deviously, swinging their joined hands back and forth.

Megatron had _missed_ that devious smirk, and he just couldn't wait till they reached Magnus's office to tug Starscream closer by the hand and dip his helm to slot their mouths together. Starscream's lips were warm and velvety smooth against his, and they lingered together for sometime before shifting their mouths and kissing again. Megatron's nose bumped the high arch of Starscream's cheek when they turned their heads, and his engine shifted up a gear when Starscream's tongue prodded out to slip across his bottom lip.

He moved in for more, wanting to bully Starscream's slighter frame up against the wall and have him right then and there- but fingers blocked his advance, halting the kiss in it's tracks. Megatron kissed them instead, watching Starscream carefully.

"Out in the open," Starscream tutted. "Have you no shame?"

"Never bothered you before," Megatron growled, voice rough with lust as the thought of all those 'befores'. There hadn't been a room, or security corridor, or throne aboard their flagship that hadn't been christened by their very public intimacy back in the day.

"Yes, but _this_ time Soundwave isn't around to erase the videoed evidence," Starscream said pointedly. "And I'm not going to keep the support of my loyal citizens if they all knew about the 'special treatment' I was giving the planet's most infamous war criminal."

"Then walk faster," Megatron grunted, tugging him along. "You're not the only one who has been feeling unfulfilled as of late."

Starscream skipped along after him, and when they finally reached the door to Magnus's office, he only waited until Megatron had keyed in the code to disengage the door-lock before relocating his hands to Megatron's shoulders and hoisting himself up. Megatron tucked an arm under his aft to support him when all four of Starscream's limbs wrapped around him.

"Primus, you're heavy," Megatron muttered, carrying him over the threshold.

Starscream pushed their mouths together in another kiss, and the strain of the seeker's weight -_and_ the sting of their recent past -was all but forgotten.

Even if only for a few hours, they were together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who sent in a prompt, and apologies if I didn't manage to squeeze yours into the advent. But don't be too disheartened, as there will always be room for them in my other drabble series, so keep an eye out for that updating sometime soon too. 
> 
> Happy holidays everyone!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Heavy Cargo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24371683) by [Spoon888](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoon888/pseuds/Spoon888)


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